You were never Mine!

Malaka

You just walked out that meaningless door
You really did leave, and kept my heart sore
You never knew what I thought in my mind
You never knew you were always in my side…

You left and unknowingly left me there lonely 
When what were left were me and the four walls only
‘Alone!’ I cried again… It was my heart shouting
You coming back was what I was always doubting

You would never understand what was happening 
Even if I said everything, you won’t be imagining
And I’m sure you could never know or feel
You’ll laugh as if it’s a joke and not real

I fell into tears and my heart into pieces it split
But you won't know and wouldn't feel the guilt
You may come to me and talk about everything around you
But never ask me who my heart pumps blood to!

Because between us, there is 
something empty, some dots
Where silence lays, and my heart 
multiple times was shot

My mind tells me, "He could never be yours… 
Move over…”
But my heart says, "Stay… Maybe all this lonely days someday he’ll cover!”

I knew you wouldn't see me the way I want you to
But I still had hope from my heart 
when it told me what you may do
I wish I was everything for him for one second…

"He has his heart taken and sold…" I reckoned.
I can’t believe I’m thinking of you 
every breath I take

I wish all, except one of these thoughts are fake!
I wish you recognize me, even if it’s once in a year
I would appreciate this day and would not shed a tear!
But this appreciation wouldn't come in a night
It needs a lot of work so it comes to be alright!

But I’m still not sure everything may be okay someday
Because these days, nothing goes on our way
But hope would never elope in my heart
Because it’s playing an important life part

It’s giving me a smile to stick on my face
when I see you
I wish you ever smile to me in the way I mean to

But someday you will… And I hope 
I’m not just thinking of nothing
I hope this thing would come true once, 
even if we were rushing

Even if we have a lot of things to think about
I need a smile to cut me straight out
I’m 100% sure you would never be mine
But "HOPE" is a word full of shine

That makes my eye tingle 
and see you there on my eyelid
I sometimes miss someone 
deep inside me, that kid

That innocent kid who never knew 
what it’s like to love
Specially someone who is stages and stages above

Who treats you freely as his own young sibling
Who thinks all she can do is scribbling!
Although, I want and need to 
get out of this wrong situation
In this way, I will lose everything 
and I must change my love station!

"For whoever reads this, I want to know if I have a future in writing... Or it's not good enough and I should find another thing to put my future on! Thanks!"