Life, Oh I Give Up

aurora

What is this?
I am restless
I don’t know why 
But, I feel no interest
Just force a smile upon

What is this? 
I see no color 
But, I am not blind 
Oh, I see, the world is black
No love, no affection
 
What is this?
This emptiness I never felt before, or
I did but chose to ignore
And live a life of mere glass that can shatter 
Shatter at the slightest touch 
 
What is this? 
I am breathless
As if someone is following me
Or is it that I want to catch someone
How do people smile so easily?
Live so freely
Will ‘they’ answer me? 
If I ask 
The reason for life to be bestowed upon us

What is this? 
I feel alone, separated, anxious
I am scared 
I want to live
No perhaps I don’t
Yes  
No matter where I search
Whom I ask 
They give no reply

What is this? 
I am eager
I want someone to share my feelings with 
I searched here and there
Tried to open up to many 
But ended up hurt

What is this? 
Ah! I see, perhaps end 
Searching for someone I came across this question
Why is life bestowed upon us?
I am alone 
I want someone
I call out will all my might 
But no one listens
I am tired
I will just live like others 
Yeah

What is this? 
In the end I give up 
That someone I want to share my feelings, myself with 
Is no where
Oh! I give up
I am really afraid 
Scared 
I am as if bond by invisible chains of 
Of what 
Hatred, love, anger?
No perhaps emptiness

What is this?
I am alone
In this darkness days pass 
But no one comes
Please come
Someone
I want to open up 
Share 
I can no longer live alone 
Why 
Why is life in the first place?
I don’t want jealousy to devourer me
Please I am alone 

What is this?
I feel attracted to someone or
Perhaps I am forcing myself to be attracted
Wanting to live on imaginary lies 
Yes
Lies 
All are lies
This life is itself
Having no reason to exist 
Is there an afterlife 
A happy one
Where I can find someone to open up 
If there is I wish to die 
Oh! God forgive me
But I can no longer
Handle these injuries, pain, and suffering 
Not anymore 
I am gradually giving up
On the believe on the very existence of happiness 
But,
Please, if my angel exists let my voice 
My hearts reaches you and find me 
Before I am devoured by this darkness



For,
I give up on this life of mine