Why Me?

Jay

Many nights a week,
I cry myself to sleep.
Asking why must it be me,
To feel so much need.
The need to be loved,
Just for who I am.
Instead I am yelled at, 
for the many feeling I have.


I have the need to be loved,
To be listened to,
To be myself,
To feel safe!
I only want to be me and not feel so scared.
Scared that I will be disowned from my family alone.
To walk down the street and be jumped for being me!


I fear that I look different,
but that's something I already know.
I'm a girl with short hair and guys clothes to go.
An outsider I feel because of the judgment I hear!
I hear so many say "is that a guy or girl",
It never seems to go away!


Why must it be me, 
To feel so left out,
To be scared to act myself.
Should I just give up and act like everyone else?
Or should I suck it up and be myself?
No matter what I pick, 
I hope I'm happy with it!
A life of regret, 
I so hope I don't get. 
I just want to be loved and accepted,
At least I want to be respected.


Should it really matter if I look different to you?
Or is it more important that I am a good human and not a trouble maker?
As this all plays out,
I pray that I don't some how fade out and it will be to late to save me!
I want to be me and not you!
I will be the way I am,
If you don't accept that then that is your problem.... Not mine!


I am Jay,  
A girl who looks like a boy...
A girl who is herself....
A girl who will stand up for what she believes in...
A girl who will always have your back...
A girl who will even die for you...