Death Throes at the end.

Esphydion Alexandria

Oh the sweet cold bitter flavor of pain,
Oh how madly I have become insane,
Ravaging the soul with suffering and stress,
The flesh rather bleed then sit in unrest,

There has never been a reason for me to say alive, 
Your traitorous redemption is eating  me inside,
I rather die then stay awake with it,
The taste of bleach stain the carpet,

How many times, the nose is wrong,
Or my will is just not as strong,
And these feelings inside of me,
Make me feel like my own enemy,
Injecting my veins toxicity,

The holes from which I bleed,
You drive me hauntingly to this need,
Rendered full of hypocrisy,
Sociosexual dire idiocracy,

A craving for my own demise,
Painful haunting of your eyes,
When I wanted to just live happy,
You left me in the cold empty,

How many attempts will I fail?
When the end comes will I prevail?
Maybe, Alone, I will die an enemy,
killed by your corrupted indecency.

What comes after I don't yet know
But I hope its calm and cold like snow
Inside me,this can't be, walking blindly, 
violent death throes of my humanity.
Let me rest and die in slumber,
Another statistic number