I wondered

Daniel Bogogolela

I loved her before she loved me.
I knew her through her sister
who unlike her, loved me.

I used to visit her family
through my friend who had
introduced me to their family.
It was a family of four boys
and girls.

She was the second of the girls.
I don't quite know what number
a child she was of that family but,
her smile affected me.

I saw how they all toiled,
I saw how their mother tried
to provide for them.
I sat with them, ate with them,
laughed and cried with them.

I asked my friend why he doesn't
help me.
asked him why is that I'd be the
only one without a partner during
year end's matric dance.

And when I told her I loved her,
I cried when she went against my
expectation.
My expectation was to hear her
tell me;
I love you too.

But she never did and went on
how she was unwilling to risk
her education,
how well I know her family isn't
rich and,
how it would be difficult for her
mother if something wrong ever
happened to her body.

I wondered what bad could happen
to a woman's body because,like she,
I was a virgin.

And when I went on asking her how
logical she thinks her statements are
towards me,
she asked me to not set foot in
her family yard ever again because I 
was rude and unkind.

I went home and couldn't speak to
my elders for days.
I wondered what good this earth would
be to me if it wasn't willing to let
me have her.