Kill Me Please!

timothy long

i just want to cry, 
why won't you let me die, 
kill me please as i can not kill myself, 
im dead for all i know, 
its a masterpiece to die accepting this fate, 
is it courage or sadness mixed in, 
without kicking or screaming, 
isnt that the type of man you want to live? 
not as good in the end i suppose, 
i will die someday, 
maybe not today or this year, 
but by my hand i will, 
although it wont soften the blow, 
its not like i want to die, 
the matter of my cause is this, 
i fail at what i set out to do, 
disappoint is a constant thing to bear, 
honestly it is, 

we are born blind, 
but in death's struggle we see all play before us, 
nothing can change or deny what is seen, 
but it is not wise to be keen, 
wouldn't you rather be unseen? 
if a higher diety asked, 
what would you get rid of in the world? 
in good theory of conscience, 
or disillusioned perspective as only i can see, 
that one thing to get rid of is me, 
die to want, 
myself to hate, 
don't sell your fate, 
it's easy to smile for what they can't see, 
i just want to try, 
but the truth is i just want to die, 
i will be okay..
but thats just what you want me to say, 
nothing evil sleeps under my bed, 
as its all in my head, 
the roses left are dead, 
why are you crying, 
am i in the hospital? 
they say im dying, 
to survive death repeat the motto i say even to lie one more day, 
sick of crying? 
sick of trying? 
why yes i am smiling! 
would you care if i changed? 
or notice when im gone? 
either is fine as i fade, 
just say go away, 
its my time to go anyway!