Teardrops of Pain

Taija

Teardrops of pain
Trapped by these four walls 
And to say they're the only ones who've seen it all
Tears paint them, only for more to accompany them
Night terrors and frightening scenes, are the accent schemes 
Love filled nights and petty fights 
Of who loves who the most
And through it all I've yet to overdose
Walking hand and hand with you
As my heart is pinned bright to my sleeve
Yes for all to see
And you're constantly tugging at it hopefully not consciously 
Sickened by your lack of emotion and devotion
While I ponder over the thoughts of how I caused this commotion 
Continuously wanting more 
Never satisfied with enough
Deep scares are my excuse, 
My excuse from the truth of how reality is my dream 
And my dreams are like a little child's game of make believe 
Never facing life with a serious view 
Until things get tragic or if it involves me and you
I cry and cry 
But for what ?! 
Like you said the action has no purpose 
Except it gives you the reassurance that your life isn't completely worth it 
 These Bloodshot eyes 
See through lies 
Or maybe they have had a few lucky guesses 
Conflicted between my heart and mind either way it seems I can't get my point across to you at any point and time!
Talking to all who are able to comprehend 
The messages beneath all the anxiety emotion and exaggeration 
The ones who can deal with their depression sadness and anger all in moderation 
 Which is funny because I'm always considered an illogical illiterate in your book 
Talked to like a small child who their parents they've just defied 
Only for you to throw false gratification of love and realism in my face 
And I can never look you directly in the face as you so called put me in my place
For my self control is being tested 
As thoughts of spitting hate and anger at you through my teeth
Flood my thought process wildly
And yet I keep my composure 
But constantly over and Over 
I'm pleading for a way possible for you to see 
To take a glance into my soul 
Only there will the unspoken truth unfold
Every desire and all the knowledge for you to acquire 
And I'm asking you take the key 
Trusting in you wasn't easy for me and yet I've given you chances to peek 
Instead you glare at me as if I was meek
? confused by your retorts 
As I try to ease to your anger of some sort
Our love is yet strained 
Over and over again
I don't know how much we can take 
Then again every one has a breaking point 
I just wish we could be together happily 
No demise or lies 
Or outside inference 
Again I have to tell myself these can only be wishes
So until then your white sheets will be stained 
Stained for all to see 
Stains of my teardrops of pain..