Tormenting Love

Brenna

I hate everything you are
Surrounding me and under my skin
I blast this torment past,
the worthless tears in your eyes
Pathetic, the dirt beneath my feet
Pressure binds the excuses and depression in my mind

Fear is no friend of mine, but fallows me like a shadow
Your energy is always spinning around me 
but all traces of you are absent
I claw out of my mind to find relief 
but i never seem to reach the outside of my prison

My head bobs in and out of cold water
So that I'm under just long enough to panic 
Until I pop back up for a gasp of air
And then I'm drowning again

I just want to grasp a reason that tells me 
"it's okay to let it go"
To open my hand for more than a few seconds
To be vulnerable with another
Tell me why I should ever let myself trust

Jesus Christ
Please release me from this fight
Forgive me in my spite . . .
I need a moment to see through your eyes
A firm understanding so I can live and breathe what is right
Silence, so still yet rings louder in my ears
Please take my hand
show me where I belong