Don't Know What Went Wrong

Anonymous

I'm sixteen at the time and no one really knows my story, i rather not tell, but it seems to be building up and i end up crying myself to sleep every night.
As far as i can remember my dad had beaten up my mom and us
(me, sister, and brother). i lived in fear that something serious would happen. it seemed every time my dad was around, things led up to argument, then the argument led to fights, then the fights led to police arresting dad, which always ends up with uncle bailing him out.
He hallucinated a lot since he was on stuff, I'm not really sure what, but he would always seem to think me and my siblings were the demons and tried to "sacrifice" us. my mom didn't do anything to stop him, i think she seemed too scared or just didn't care.
about a year passed and i was about seven, things weren't so bad, until one day i was alone with my dad at our house and i asked him for help with some homework. he was nice about it and started reading the problem and slowly putting his arm around me, i thought he was just being a dad, but that's not what his attentions were, obviously. the touches led to stuff that I'm not going to go on details. the touches happened more often and all i can do is scream, i know my family heard me, i just don't know why they wouldn't help or at least call the police. well i got pregnant when i was eleven and i was disgusted by the fact my unborn child's father was the same as mine, but i was still going to keep it. my mom called me a whore for letting this happen. my dad didn't find out until i was two months,but when he did, he got mad and beat me, i lost the baby.
the beatings got worst, my dad lost his job and couldn't afford our place so we moved into my uncles house. they also had their problems of violence and ended up kicking us out. we moved into an apartment. one day a fight was occurring, i was so sick of this and called the police. my father was charged with domestic violence and possession of drugs, since this wasn't his fist time, he had a choice: prison or deportation.of course he chose deportation, haven't heard from him since.
because my dad was the one always making the money, we were homeless for about a year. we lived in the car and would clean houses, mow lawns, and hustle for a living. we raised up money for a motel room but then my mom decided to leave. i was alone with my siblings. my sister dropped out of school in order to work and maintain us. we would lie to the school and say my mom was in a business trip and my sister was just babysitting us temporarily. i found out my sister has been selling her body and got aids. she died a year later.
so it was just me and my little brother. we are two years apart but i was the one who had to figure things out. i ended doing prostitution just to afford the motel and food. i still went to school, which seemed the only place i liked, i didn't really had any friend, i didn't like getting attached to anyone since i know they would let me down eventually, my brother was my only friend, but one day i got news at the school that my brother was run over and killed by a drunk driver when he was walking to school. they asked for my parents information in order to inform them, and that's when they found out i had no parents.
i was so sad, i realized i had absolutely no one now. they put me in foster care and up for adoption. i was adopted last year. this is the first time i have ever spoken about my past.