Don't know the reason why we broke Up

Vaio Iraq

I'm a Muslim lady and 32 years old.
I will not talk about the traditions that we have as Muslim and as Iraqi cause this is love. Love is a unique language everywhere. It is the same feeling, same pain. No real love without pain...

Here how my story begins:
In 2005 there was an exhibition in General Park for companies all over the country. I was there as an observer and welcomed guests. There were too crowds and hardly could find a place to sit and have rest. We were 4 ladies standing near to a company space in the exhibition. There were two guys standing in the company space and offered us to sit and have rest. We entered the space and thanked guys. We talked and one of the guys who were so cute and has fetching eyes observing me secretly and I was aware but tried to control myself.

Anyhow we exchanged emails and after a week I received an email from him. It was a strange feeling. We continued like that and he suggested meeting or giving me a book but I couldn't accept. Once he sent me an email talking about politician and I advised him to not get involved in politics cause it affects your future (daughter) and family. He was shocked and asked "how do you know that I have a family?" Here where I was really shocked. I never knew that he has family but was talking about Ifs. I was really disappointed. To be fair, he was only trying to be friends but what I was feeling was more than friendship. I was silent for a while and sad. Tried to cut the connections as it is not healthy and easy here (per traditions) to be such a close friend with married ones.

Any how we were apart till 2007 and one day suddenly i saw him online and we began chatting. we talked about what happened frankly and this time we had stronger feeling toward as. One day when we're chatting he wanted to confess to me that he loves me and I begged him to stop and not to say it, but we couldn't stop that it was our fate. I told him that "your love is too hard to be accepted and too sweet to be denied".

We fall deeply in love. A love, that I cannot forget it till the last day of my life. It was happiest and greatest love I have been in ever. He still lives in my mind and heart.

I joined MBA and involved him with me too(it is a very funny story that makes me laugh till now). We were MBA students for 2 years in the same group and had many case studies together without anyone knowing about this relation. Day after day he was feeling so jealous and each time was accusing me of attracting people's attention. God knows how this was far from reality and it never came to my mind to act like that. Finally we agreed to marry (per our religion men can marry more than one at the same time). Here is the sadness begin. I could obviously observe the changes of him and could notice the fears and hesitations and regrets in his eyes and left him to behave as he want couldn't defend me enough as I was worried about him. I realized that how much he will get trouble if we marry since he had children and wife. I was a real love in his life and he has willing to live with me not his wife (as he had a sad story regarding his marriage and how he was obliged to marry his wife unbelievable story!)

One day we had a group project and discussing our project but he was not there. He called me several times and I was not aware cause we were in group discussing our projects. As soon as I noticed his missed calls, I called him back and he was too angry. He said many sad things and accused me of neglecting him and care about other people more than him which was absolutely wrong. I could say nothing just explained myself being in discussions and said I have only one thing to tell u which was "I love you".

Day after day he was worse and more jealous, accusing me that I'm changed and talking to others which was absolutely not true and God knows how much I was faithful to him . One day in 2010, he suggested us to meet in his office. I went there and he asked me to give him my mobile. He checked my mobile and couldn't find anything to accuse me of then he asked for the password of my personal email. Though I was disappointed and it broke my heart to the degree at that time I didn't feel any more love toward him.

He explored my emails and unexpectedly found an old email by an old friend who sent me some rude jokes and he was so upset and told me that I have never sent such kind of jokes to my friends (girls). The real story is that the guy who sent me that email was a rude person and previously I called him and angrily I asked him not to send me such kind of messages but when I told this to my boyfriend and explained that how much this guy is rude, He didn't believe me. Actually I felt that he believes me but want to find any reason to undo this marriage and end our relations. I could say nothing and realized that it is useless. Left him angrily and didn't allow him to check my emails anymore.

That is how my love ended. Till now I carry a special feeling toward him and cannot forget him. When thinking about this I always asking myself, why all these happened to me?? Why he was not frank and tells that we cannot marry? He knows my personality and knew very well that I think wisely and never asked him to marry me why he behaved like that?

Love to hear your comments. Please.