Good bye my Beloved father..

juliet

September 29, 2006 my father died from hypertension. He was 56 years old, and I was just 10 years old back then. Few weeks before my father died, he was confined in a hospital. My mother, brothers, sister, uncle are the only who are allowed to go there. I was left at the house with my auntie. I kept on going to school, my classmates and teachers do not know anything about my father being confined in the hospital.

Few days later, my sister went home to take care of me. When we were about to sleep, I asked her. "Sis, what is dad's illness?"
"He has no illness. Dad is just sick. He'll come home soon." she replied and went to sleep. I felt relieved, 'coz I thought it was dangerous or something.

Then after 1 week, I read some messages in my sister's mobile. She was out that time and her mobile is ringing. I looked at it and saw that she has received 3 messages from mom. I read it one by one. At first,my said that "You're dad is still in I.C.U. The doctor said he's gonna have an operation tomorrow." After I read that, I stopped on reading more messages on my sister's mobile. I went straight to my room. I was wondering why dad is gonna have an operation tomorrow.. I thought that he is just sick. I acted that I didn't know anything about it.

The next day, September 28 2006, I was playing badminton with my best friend. She asked me if my dad is doing fine. I answered that he'll be released from the hospital soon. My best friend accompanied me for the whole day in our house because I was alone. When the night came, my brother came home. I'm not alone anymore so my best friend went back to their house.

Me and my brother slept in separate rooms. And that night I had a dream about my father. He was perfectly healthy, happy, got released from the hospital and he was playing with me. I thought that dream was real, then I woke up in the morning. I was so happy that I dreamed about my dad being released from the hospital. Then in the afternoon, my family went home. My mother hugged me tight and didn't say a word. After hugging me she just went straight to her room and rest. My brothers and sister called me. They wanted to say something to me. Then there... they said that daddy has passed away. I thought that I was really gonna cry that time but my tears didn't appear.

The day finally came of his funeral. All of our close friends, family members gathered there. When I was told that daddy died, I didn't shed one tear starting that day. My mom always told me that it is ok to cry if I want to. But I didn't. Then on the day of the funeral, when the coffin is going to be buried, suddenly tears are falling down to my cheeks. They were overflowing. I can't help it but cry and cry. I cried for the whole afternoon. When I was walking, or doing something, tears still do not stop on flowing. I do not know why. It's like they're coming out on their own. After that day, I never cried again when I remember my father. 4 years have passed, we visit him in the cemetery.. my family cry before we go home. But me, I was just looking at them. The real reason that I don't cry, is because of them and my father.
First, if I cry, daddy will be sad. He doesn't want to see his beloved ones cry.
Second, my family members are all crying, what will happen now if I cry too? I should make them happy too.

That's all of it. I've lived like that for 4 years now. And I enjoy my life more.