Why Me

Ashley

When i was 15 my mom met a guy that christmas we went to his house to met his family. I met a boy who had blond hair and the bluest of eyes he was a gymnast same as me and i fell for him that day not 2 seconds after we were introduced his name was Perry he seemed to be so great. My mom's new boyfriend told me he was bad news but on christmas eve i told my mom we were dating. She smiled and told me be safe she didn't approve but she wasn't going to stop me. she saw the lust clouding my eyes. We were 2 years different in age he was 17. He made my head spin. we hung out with my cousins i am mean we had so much fun together. Then not very long after a half of year pasted by 8 months flew by and he was still mine he was my longest relationship. We finally really kissed he was my first true kiss i fell into him i was so far gone with him nothing would take me away. One weekend i was at my mom's we had moved in with my mom's boyfriend and my boyfriend lived right next door, but my mom started denying me to see him. so i slipped outside and as soon as my eyes looked at his house a girl came running outpouring sweat. My heart sunk deep but re-rose when he came out he smiled at me and i watched the sweat fall from his perfect boned face and with every burning vein i smiled at him and didn't ask who she was i didn't want to know my mom was fobidding me to see him cuz he was a player i was seeing it first hand but i was so far gone i ignored it. So soon i started sneaking out and lying my best to my parents all for perry just so i could see him just so i could kiss him. it was patheic how much i needed him. Soon though i confronted him about being a player or not and he left me it on a e-mail. i went outside to ignore my pain and play with the family in the backyard my lil sister saw the tears fall first when he came out the back of his house and looked at me; my mom saw me drop to my knees like a ton of bricks tears streaming down my face. pain making me so sick all i could do was look at him. i stared at him like he was an angel who was going to kill me and he frowned but only for a second. i took my pain and smiled at him revenged rocked my body. it took me over like a disease i stood up and walked in, inside put on my cutest shirt knowing he hasn't seen my body i walked outside. i laughed when he stared and grabbed my tennis racket swinging it with all my might and laughing with my mom totally unbothered. but finally i went home to my dad's where i sat in the bathroom and puked all i had up. i cried to the point of blacking out. i woke up crawling to my computer i looked no message. my heart sunk deeper and went to sleep. 2 weeks of pure depression went by and then i was back at my mom's i went outside to get some fresh air and there he was standing in his backyard with all the beauty he could hold. i smiled and felt my heart skip a beat as i walked toward him and he walked toward me, he asked how i was and i said miserable. he grabbed me and said i missed you i held back the tears as he looked down at me and said can i have a kiss. i fell again and kissed him soon it went back to snaeking around to hold him and soon another girl came into the picture i pretended as though she wasn't there and turned into his dirty lil secret. i enjoyed up intill he ignored me for her. i got crushed a bit but nothing beat him telling my mom a bunch of lies of how i tried to rape him by now i was 16 and he was 18 i still loved everything bout him. him lying crushed my world 4 months went by and i still cried every night not be able to remember if i had sex with him it was horrifying. So soon after i gave up i turned 17 going to church trying to find the right road and soon in front of 2000 or more people i walked up and asked god to come into my heart and take away the loneliness. he did filling me with joy and he answered my prays of forgetting perry i only remember this story cause no matter what god can't take a year and half of my life and erase it. but he did help me more than anything. i met a guy named jason who made me smile after i totally gave up on love. now 2 months have flew by almost 3 and i'm happily in love with me. Then perry out no where mesasged me. i gladily hit DELETE! cause i will not let my heart fall for him when it's trying so hard to repair and give it self away to jason aka jay. I know these is a sad story gone happy but i didn't think i'd ever be happy after being so crushed so hard there is still a God out there or a person out there who is there for you and wants to fix you...and love you without sharing you....By:Ashley