My love
Janu
08 Nov, 2011 05:34 AM
Sorry if this is too long.
I came from quite a rich family. But as they say money does not buy happiness. I knew very little happiness since I was young. My family had several people working under us both in my house as well as in our workplace. My mother was a very wonderful person but very weak. She did not dare do anything against my father. My father had open affairs with other women; even bringing them home in front of mother. But my mother does not say anything. She was dying inside but she laughed outside for me. Everyone knew what happens in our house but no one questions my father.
Eric was the son of one of the employees. I knew him since I was 5 and he was 7. Eric's father worked around the house and Eric was around a lot. There were not a lot of kids my age then and we became playmates. Eric gave me the love and care that my father did not bother to give me and that my mother was afraid to show me. He gave me a father's affection, a mother's love, a brother's companionship and a little bit something more. I did not understand it then but he was everything to me. I would feel like something is missing without him and just seeing him would make me feel relieved. He taught me how to be happy. I will wake up each day anxious to see him and go to sleep with his face in mind. I slowly fell in love with him. Even now, I do not know when exactly I fell in love with him. It was all the little things he did, just for me that gradually made me love him. Once when my father beat me up bad, he cried for me. It touched me like nothing else could because all my life, no one ever cried for me; they only made me cry. Maybe that was when I fell in love with him, when I realized that someone cared about me enough to share my pain and sorrows, to cry for me. Later, he gave me the courage to console my mother, as she slowly broke down around me in her last years. Frankly, he was the only one keeping me sane. It was astounding how responsible and mature he was even though he was still a child himself. He offered his shoulder for me to lean on. He was someone I could count on and depend on.
My mother passed away when I was 14. They said her heart gave out on her. I wonder why. My father forced me to replace my mother in bed even with all the other women around. He was quite a generous man, even sharing me with his friends. I have one brother 7 years older than me. He learned from my father to use me as well. I never told Eric what my father did to me. I was afraid of what he would think of me. I think he figured it out; my father did not actually keep it a secret. But Eric never said anything to me. He still behaved normally like nothing was wrong. Maybe he was waiting for me to trust him enough to confide in him. But I was scared that he will not consider me pure and never had the courage. By now, Eric was old enough to help his dad around the house.
My father was busy with his business to notice what was happening between us during the day. I was nearly 19 when my father started noticing and suspecting the relationship between Eric and me now that we both had grown up. I always thought that he was jealous that someone made me happy when he spent his entire life trying to squash the joy out of my life. He figured that I was in love with Eric and Eric with me. I did not know what he said or did then but Eric stopped coming around. Then, Eric's dad decided to leave the country all of a sudden. I was devastated. I did not know what to do or who to go to for help. I was not considered of legal age yet since I was not 21 so I will not get help from the authorities. Furthermore, they were all in my father's pocket anyway. I went to see Eric when my father was not around and discovered that my father had him beaten to within an inch of his life for daring to love me. His dad had decided to move away to save his son. I did not have the heart to ask him to stay with me and I knew we could never make it out of the country without my father catching up on us. I made Eric swear that he would leave and never come back for me because I feared what my dad will do if he saw Eric again. Eric was reluctant and only left when I promised him that I would come looking for him as soon as I became of legal age even though I knew my father will never let me leave.
It was horrible without Eric. I did not understand how much I had been depending on him until he left. My father had people sieve through my mail and my calls to make sure that we are not in contact with each other. I just existed on a day-to-day basis. I gave up ever seeing him again. I died the day Eric left; it was just my dead body walking around. It hurt just to keep breathing. I came close to killing myself a few times but I could never do it. I had given myself to Eric; how do I kill something that does not even belong to me? I could not just ignore what my father did to me like I used to. It was like Eric leaving was a splash of cold water and everything became ten times clearer and ten times more horrible. My life became like 2 parts- before and after Eric. Having spent most of my life with Eric, everything reminded me of him. Places, objects, every damn little thing. I was crying all the time and was frustrated that I could do nothing. 21 came and went and things were still the same. There were my father's people around me all the time to make sure I did not try anything.
I am 23 now. If you were hoping that I somehow managed to leave and found Eric and we lived happily ever after, you are wrong. I never saw Eric again. I heard from a friend of Eric's dad that Eric is a cop now. He always was a good guy. I hope that sooner or later Eric will move on. Perhaps if I try hard enough I could get out but I cannot. You see, my mother had another baby girl just before she died. My father and brother will replace me with my sister if I left. I would not wish this fate on my worst enemy and she is my own sister. Eric was my first and will be my only love but I pray everyday that he will find someone special to share his life with. Please pray for me as well.
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Comments
Post a Comment25 May, 2012 05:23 AM
plzz yaa i am not gonna console u tht everything would b fine..but yeah u shld try 2 get eric again..i knw tht ur father is like tht..but itz k..uknow i would like 2 say u tht..try again..and as far as ur sster is concerned then take her with u as well..if u cn go..!! plzz let me know wht do u think..!
25 May, 2012 03:11 PM
yeah .. surely .. u hav done ryte bt plx try 2 get Eric back .. he was a nice guy and ur fist friend ..
26 May, 2012 01:47 AM
I dont know what is love bt it is really heart-touching :'(
i'll pray that u both will be together forever .... !!!
26 May, 2012 03:30 PM
sad to read that. . :'(
i was crying while reading this. . .
i'll pray for you . . .
27 May, 2012 01:31 AM
I wish the best for you, Eric, and your sister. I really hope that one day you will be able to find Eric again. Life has its ups and downs. Just try to look on the bright side of things and hopefully, one day, you'll be united with Eric again. Good luck and God bless you.
27 May, 2012 11:07 AM
Dont worry have faith in god and you will definitely get your love. My six sence says that you both will meet soon. Its my faith on God and your true love
28 May, 2012 08:52 PM
I completely understand what it's like to depend on someone for so long and not even realize it. I depended on a boy named mark, but he was 3 years older than me and lived in a different town. I've been hurt, just as you have, with 3 different people. It makes me afraid but i manage to hide it from the world pretty good. Mark was the joy in my life at that time. Then, one day, he left me and i broke. I miss him so much. He said to wait until collage and then i'll see him again. but somehow i doubt it.. i just have to move on with my life. You however, should try hard to find him because he sounds like a sweetheart who you are meant to be with.
29 May, 2012 01:23 AM
You're 23!!!!!!!!!!! Can't you call child protection or something? I mean seriously your dad will rot in hell (no offence). I know what if feels like to be in love, and what it feels like to want to fight for someone till the very last drop of blood comes out of your body, but fight it right. Eric's a cop? Then find out more about him and i bet he will come looking for you at some point. My prayers are all with you still xxx be strong! i know what not having happiness is...
29 May, 2012 03:30 AM
ok, so go get a back pack and pack all the food you can think of that will fit in there. get a pillow and a blanket to fit in there. ask your dad for a lot of money, or find/earn the money. take your sister and go away and find eric
29 May, 2012 06:10 PM
Hah!...che ua father is a pervert really am geeting so anger dat if ua dad wld n frnt f me i wld have kiild himm....god knws how u mangd 2 live...may god bless u dea
29 May, 2012 10:51 PM
Don't ever give up hope. Be strong and have courage. Hold your head up and get through what you have to. I may not understand your full situation but I encourage you to take your sister and run. Try to give her a better life. Whether your with Eric or not, you owe it to yourself and your little sister to try.
30 May, 2012 04:11 PM
and i though that my life was hard. i guess im too young to understand everything in life . all i can say is that u and ur sister need! to stay far away from ur father me and all my friends will pray for u and ur sister and i hope u will meet eric some day
31 May, 2012 08:45 AM
It's a gamble that I can do something with your father and get you back to ERIC, email me.
31 May, 2012 04:39 PM
Have you heard of the saying....? If something goes and doesnt come back it didnt love you, If something goes and comes back it DOES love YOU!!!
01 Jun, 2012 11:16 AM
You have promised to go and see him, and you didn't. He has been waiting you to show up, So go and see him, and make every moment count. You father doesn't own your life. This latter isn't but yours, no body jas the right to interfere.
01 Jun, 2012 04:09 PM
"the first step to better times is to imagine them" .......
i don't know if this will help you but this helped me a lot since i have been brokenhearted 3 times already i .always think about this and i end up feeling better and move on ,but in your case my advise for you is "get him"my love life didn't end up good but yours there is still a big chance for you two to be together........
.......>>> goodluck <<<.......
01 Jun, 2012 07:16 PM
:((((
01 Jun, 2012 10:16 PM
I am very sad for you...... Please a request, don't take a harmful decision never.... be patient..... If u love him really... u see he will be your.... he will be only of your... one day.
That's the real love's promise The Creator's promise*
I'll must be pray for yours...... Inshaallah One day you shall be to each other
and after life...... You will be meet together on heaven.......*
Best of luck friend
02 Jun, 2012 05:05 AM
Ooommmggg wat a lovely story i think she have to save her sister she dont have to get the pain like her sis i wish god to b wid u
02 Jun, 2012 05:06 AM
Ooommmggg wat a lovely story i think she have to save her sister she dont have to get the pain like her sis i wish god to b wid u
02 Jun, 2012 06:45 AM
Honestly speakin u re a woman naw,find a way 2 get yaself out of the cage.Even f ya father owns tha town,no1 z above da Law..Er re sme pipo who re not lykin wat hs doin dat cn help u...
Jus dnt gv up on lyf,remeba God aint hapi wth was happenin nd surely one day a miracle wil happen nd ts bound 2 happen soon.Jus believe...
Am proud wth da way u care 4 ya sis,shes luck 2 hv u...jus tek care v ha nd mek sure no harm cams 2 ha.
As 4 Eric,f he truly loved u he wil kam bak 4u nd hs grown naw nd knws wat u passin thru.I beliv hes da SuperHero 2 ya stowi,kip strong...All wil b wel nathn last 4eva..
My email;Brianngoma@ymail.com or twitter @Bx_a if u nid sm1 2 tok 2..
02 Jun, 2012 06:46 AM
Honestly speakin u re a woman naw,find a way 2 get yaself out of the cage.Even f ya father owns tha town,no1 z above da Law..Er re sme pipo who re not lykin wat hs doin dat cn help u...
Jus dnt gv up on lyf,remeba God aint hapi wth was happenin nd surely one day a miracle wil happen nd ts bound 2 happen soon.Jus believe...
Am proud wth da way u care 4 ya sis,shes luck 2 hv u...jus tek care v ha nd mek sure no harm cams 2 ha.
As 4 Eric,f he truly loved u he wil kam bak 4u nd hs grown naw nd knws wat u passin thru.I beliv hes da SuperHero 2 ya stowi,kip strong...All wil b wel nathn last 4eva..
My email;Brianngoma@ymail.com or twitter @Bx_a if u nid sm1 2 tok 2..
02 Jun, 2012 10:40 PM
Keep praying for Eric if you keep asking god for something it will come just be patient and never give up faith god is good and if you keep asking him he will answer. Just be positive and never lose faith and leave everything in gods hands because he does miracles.
03 Jun, 2012 12:39 PM
Hey u knw true Love will nvr die...
03 Jun, 2012 02:47 PM
you must try again to get Eric back ..... and save ur self from ur father .... i'll pray for u
i hope you get ur Eric back
04 Jun, 2012 03:54 PM
oh how horrible......i suggest you to leave with your little sister :'''(....
05 Jun, 2012 02:36 AM
find your happiness... u just search eric in website..not to wait eric is coming in.. u also try to find a way in order to see ur love one again..
05 Jun, 2012 08:10 AM
Hey girl I want you to listen to this song ; the one that got away by Katty perry
, yiu love him , and you me us your dad knows that he loves you ,and let me tell you the time is running out , do something about or else you will grow old regerting , you should be brave enough to do something about your dad , pack up , have some cash , and then go , and see him , and Marry him ! , attest do something to yourself , and then get bk to your sister when it's the right time ! And I hope your dad goes to hell !
05 Jun, 2012 06:18 PM
hey dea go wd yewr sis n fynd errik..may god bless yeu..gud lk..
06 Jun, 2012 08:19 AM
goooooo save your life.
sooner or later your sister will suffer the same thing like u do now.
forget about eric...save your sister and yourself first than go find eric after that.
06 Jun, 2012 01:51 PM
you d god dirl you make me so said nd im fell bed fur u, I believe in you! You can sin yourself to sleep it help me to feel. I hope you ok. You feel better I be your friend. So you feel better ok?
06 Jun, 2012 02:11 PM
=´(( shooo sad.... try to get eric again.. he is your 1st friend and your 1st love...
07 Jun, 2012 01:56 PM
i understood u 98% correctly..leave the damn place with your sister..fight against those devils...fight!fight!!until the last drop of ur blood!!i dont belive about fate.fate is something we creates!!leave those devils..do not kill ur father..is he ur step dady??dont even think about it!!..if i were there im gonna be the voluntier who gonna kill that ass hole! that thing may leads me to heaven!
07 Jun, 2012 02:45 PM
Janu i have read you story and it touched my heart more than any other story i have ever heard, saw, watched or readed.(im 12 years old so my grammer isn't perfect.) PLEASE!!! For the Love of you MOTHER, YOU SISTER AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, ERIC!! Please call the police he is a rapist. Then take your sister and maybe look after her/ give her to a care home and maybe say you'll take her back when you can/ give her to a family memberear (auntie or uncle ETC) to look after maybe for some time. Then PLEASE! Try to find craig. I have never believed in love because my father cheated on my mother and they got divorced. But after reading this, you have bought my faith on LOVE back. so PLEASE try to find him!I am sure he loves you more than anything so please do it for everyone/thing you've ever loved. Don't waste you life knowing you had the chance to have REAL TRUE LOVE.
07 Jun, 2012 02:46 PM
*your father is a rapist
08 Jun, 2012 03:59 AM
I truly don't know what to say, to leave to find your love and leave your sister, or stay with your sister, I would pick the same as you. But I can't give you any advice, I'm the youngest of five so I don't know how it feels to have a younger sibling, and my first love died horribly in flames. I would probably just hope for him to move on and hope that someday I'll get to go to his wedding, but you love him a lot don't you?
I just hope you'll pick what you think is right, not what you think you have to. Please forgive that I have no more advice for you, but you'll are in my prayers.
10 Jun, 2012 03:24 AM
Very nice sad stories
10 Jun, 2012 04:12 AM
Thats a very touching story, im so sorry that that has happened. But im praying for you and eric and as for your father you should just never talk to him its like me my father did the same rapped me and did alot of other things to me to but got me pregnant to and now i have a 2 year old son named justin and he is so cute, but i feel your pain hunni <3
07 Aug, 2012 06:28 AM
thats really sad... i'm so sorry.. hope you find a way out for you and your sister, you're so strong, you're a hero. i was really sad reading your story.. i'm so sorry ...
10 Oct, 2012 06:34 AM
im sorry to say this but your father is a sick-pathetic-physco-asshole-freakin bastard... i hope he rots in hell.. im sorry for you. you are indeed strong and i will pray for you. thanks for sharing your story. i hope you finf Eric...
god bless Janu..
10 Oct, 2012 06:37 AM
im 14 by the way so please try to understand my grammars..
10 Oct, 2012 07:11 AM
im sorry to say this but, why didnt Eric look for you when you were both in legal age? he could defend you. im guessing that he had already moved on..
as for your dad, hes a sick-pathetic-physco-asshole freaking bastard. youre a strong woman Janu!! i hope the best for you!!
i hope though that Eric hasnt given up on you, maybe hes saving all his might so he can fight for you .
(sorry for the wrong grammars.. im still 14)
God bless!!
26 Jul, 2013 08:45 AM
Is that father of yours your biological father? I hate your father for doing such thing to you. I'm sorry about you. I hope you can get out of that world and look for the one you have been loving most. Just don't lose hope. God is making a wonderful plan for you. Remember, He only makes a HAppY ENDING story. I know he will make and end your story happily. :)