The most hurt ever

memo

This is my story , this is my pain the pain that I think I will never heal from it, it's hurts me so bad just like somebody had just stab me in my heart and just kill it kill it . I thought we will never reach this but unfortunately we did every time I saw her I felt happy because her face brought happiness in my life I still remembered her words she said we will never be apart we will be friends for ever but we didn't we had a fight ? I don't feel sad about having a fight but I'm sad and dying from inside because I think I'm losing her I never thought this will ever happen but it did and my heart has just fall apart and I don't think that I have the courage to hold my tears to hold my pain my heart has just dyed and I can't feel the beats of my heart any more I think I'm dying I think I'm going away but how could I go and leave my love how?? I need someone to answer me someone to till me your just dreaming and you will wake up soon I'm I dreaming or this is reality??. I discovered that I'm not dreaming everything is real because I'm crying why I'm I crying I'm asking myself and I find the answer in my heart I found out that she's gone she don't want any more what did I do wrong?? Did I hurt her??hope I didn't because I'm losing her, GOD what is happening with me what is going in this life everyone I love keeps going away and just leaves me alone with a broken heart with a tear left in my eyes a tear full of sadness but before it was full of joy just a day before everything was alright I was so happy because I have her in my life I was telling everyone about her how kind is she and beautiful and how lovely she was and how did she become everything to me my life my future my lovely sister but now everything has changed and I keep asking myself why?? I have checked my cell phone a million time hoping to find a missed call from her but I never did ?I was so disappointed and my tears start coming out again I can feel how salty they were I never believed what is going on with me so I hit myself and I said : GIRL you are dreaming you are just Hallucination because you are afraid of losing her but I wasn't I WASN'T , the only thing I was afraid of in my whole life was losing a friend losing the best thing in my life my sister and she was the best thing that ever happened to me yes she was the best thing and she will always be in my heart always and always . I wish I had one moment to go back and just fix everything wrong I did I just want to hug her one more time and till her how much I love how much she means to me and it feels like nobody ever knew me like she did I guess I wasn't that important in her life like she was in mine but I will try to live I will try to smile I will try to pretend that I am okay I will do my best but my tears are tears will never dry until she comes back to me and light my life again with her love, smile and everything good that she did for me . I will never say goodbye because where is the good in goodbye?. I will fight for our friendship I will do my best because I can't live without you , you make me laugh and you can cheer me up when I'm sad because you were my best friend ? in the end I just want say something you did hurt me yes you did my lovely friend you hurt deep inside in my heart but don't worry my hurt is not important but yours is and no one will ever see my hurt because I hide it inside my broken heart the heart that full of hurts from the one that I love?.
P.S : I will always be there for you when you need me just call my name and I will come running I promise you my dear friend