how can i move on?

chris

nine months ago, i met a girl. she was perfect and beautiful and sexy. her smile, her body, her hair... everything was absolutely perfect... her skin was the perfect complexion with the perfect tint of tan, her auburn hair flowed like water, and her pale green eyes were always shielded behind long, long lashes. after one month of becoming pretty much best friends, i fell in love with her. we shared our first kiss when we were laying under the stars one night and everything progressed from there. we were dating without the label, because i never really asked her out. we were together for four months before i lost my virginity to her, and she lost hers to me. and, that's when i was sure that she loved me just like i loved her. we spent every day together, when winter came. we didn't see each other much from there, but we still spent hours on the phone. i called her christmas morning, and she didn't answer. this was the first time that she'd never answered my calls, and this was also the first time i had called her all week (she always called me first). i sent her a text message two hours after i called her "i'm coming over." she didn't reply, so i jumped in my pickup truck and drove to her house. her parents were gone for a Christmas cruise and she stayed home, so i suspected her to be there. i knocked on the door- no answer. i knocked on her bedroom window- no answer; her curtains didn't even move. i walked around the back through the snow, and reached under a garden pot and got a key to the back door. i unlocked it and walked into the house. i called her name several times, and she never answered. i walked up the stairs, and saw her bedroom door open with her laying in her bed. i smiled and walked over to her, kissing her lips softly. she didn't wake up, and she didn't even stir. i began to panic as i saw a note that said "please forgive me for what i've done, chris." on it. i opened it, and read it again and again and again until it finally hit me- she was dead. i looked around and saw an empty bottle of pain reliever on the floor with not a pill in sight, but the seal looked freshly broken. i reached for my phone, and called the police... they tried to revive her blueing body, and pronounced her dead thirty minutes after i got to the house...