Good Bye Forever

SmileItsTheBest

Pain; to what extent can you handle it? Of course, everyone will eventually go through pain at one point or time in his/her life. Not everyone will experience the same kind of pain, but close enough to understand. My pain is by far the worst considering that I'm only 19.

When I was five years old, my family and I moved into a new neighborhood and because I was being stubborn, I didn't want to make any new friends. Fortunately, we had nice neighbors; they came over and welcomed us to the neighborhood. That's when I met Mario Kugimiya; from then on, we did everything together, and I mean everything! We were the best of best friends; we even had sleep overs and a 'secret' hideout. We told each other about our worst nightmares, our fears, and even our darkest secrets. We were inseparable; we couldn't even make it through the day without seeing each other! But it all came to a sudden stop; at the age of nine, the Kugimiya's moved away. The worst of all, Mario and I didn't want to say our goodbyes at all. Mario had said to me, "When people say goodbye, it means forever. It means they'll never meet again", so we both decided not to say our goodbyes. Instead, we decided that Mario going away was like him going on a long vacation. After Mario left, my days became longer, and everything seemed out of place. It took me awhile to get things back in order and to finally make new friends.

After three years without Mario around, everything seemed fine, but I still missed him every now and then. I was moving on with my daily life, and I guess all the nights of wishing and praying had finally caught up! As luck would have had it, we met again; I didn't expect to see him, not for a very long time. I thought we were worlds apart, but after all it is a small world! He came back and we instantly picked up where we had left off the last time we saw each other, and the best thing was, he was going to stay for good! He told me stories and filled me in on what I missed, and I filled him in on what he missed. As we were catching up, it felt like we were there together, as if we never parted. From then on our relationship got better and better; yes, of course, there were days when we were down each others throat and there were days where we wanted to get rid of each other, but those days never lasted too long.

The years passed and we were still the best of best friends; we still did everything together, and we still told each other our secrets. When I turned 16, we decided to take our friendship a little bit farther! We began to date. It felt like heaven on earth. It was beyond words; everything fit perfectly together! He was my morning sun; he was the reason why I wanted to wake up every day; his warm smile filled me up with butterflies; and his eyes were so warm it could make anyone's day. He was my drug. But who knew that that happiness was going to be cut short. You never know what you really need until it's gone. After one year of being together, Mario left; it was the hardest thing I had ever had to deal with. I saw my life flash before my eyes; I was left breathless. It felt like hell broke loose! The night Mario left, he told me he'll be back and for me to wait for him. When the clock struck eleven, I was getting tired and couldn't keep my eyes open. I fell asleep watching the clock; the next morning I woke up to my mother's crying voice. Everything from there on was a haze, something about Mario and the hospital. That was the last time I ever heard his name. It still kills me knowing that we could have had it better, but we never had the chance. Mario Kugimiya left me without a word; he left me asking myself all these "what if's," "it could have been" questions. I realized that we never had the chance to say our goodbyes; he left me wondering if he was ever going to come back.

Death could end a lot of stuff, but it could never end love and pain. It hurts like hell; I'm not going to lie every now and then I catch myself waiting for him, hoping he'll walk through my door and give me that sweet smile of his. But who am I lying to? Am I suppose to hang around and wait forever? My family members said in time things will get better. I'm still here, just trying to make the best of everything, taking it as it comes and living life to the fullest for us both for what we could have been!