Hidden Pain

Amanda

Once upon a time there was young lady. This lady had experienced more pain than most her age. At 21, many viewed her as having a mindset of a sixty year old. Many complimented her on being so mature, so independent, yet, no one dared asked why she was the way she way. This is her story.

At five years old Megan* saw her first snow. She remembers it clearly because not only was it her first snow, it was her first truck ride. You see, Megan and her family took at trip with their step day to Washington, to drop off his freight. (he was a semi truck driver) Megan was only five, but she couldn't get over the beauty of the snow flakes flowing around her. Megan was five, and she couldn't help see the magic in the trees. Megan was five, and she couldn't understand why her stepdad abused her.

At five, this little girl will never forget her first snow, her first abuse. When her family finally stopped for the night, her mother and brothers went inside for showers. Megan was left with her step father for nap time. At once, she was near asleep, he called to her. She knew well enough to follow his directions, because he had quite a temper. She abided and laid next to him. He started to do things she was not used to, that she knew went against all she knew. But, he was her father, the only one she ever knew.. It had to be her fault she thought, she must have made him mad. She couldn't tell, she was never taught that this was wrong. At five, Megan barely knew the difference between right and wrong..

Eight years later:
Megan is thirteen now, she now knows what her step dad is doing is wrong, so wrong. But after eight years, how can she tell? How can she tell the world that she has let this go on for so long? Megan is ashamed, and is scared her mom will choose him over her. She is stuck. She is in pain. She is lost.

One day, on the way to school. Megan notices her sister is crying. However, Megan is so far down, she doesn't care to bother with her. Just assumes that she is having a bad day. Around noon, Megan is pulled from class. If megan Knows one thing, being picked up from school is never a good thing. Did her step dad finally beat her brothers to death, did he rape their mom? All these thoughts are running through her mind as she walks up to the car.

Her mom looks at her. She looks as if she has aged twenty years. "your stepdad is in jail, sweetie. He tried to touch your sister yesterday." she stands there frozen.. He did this... To her sister... And she told. Megan didn't know what to think. Days in and out people were coming and going. Detectives asked her repeatedly if anything had happened to herself. She always refused. Megan was so scared she would get in trouble. Scared because if she would have said something sooner, her sister never would have gone through the same pain. Megan was filled with so much guilt and heartache, she couldn't bare to admit this out loud.

One day, Megans mother took her aside and broke down. She explained that since it was only once, their step father wouldn't get in trouble for very long. And that she was scared. She explained how she was a terrible mother, and couldn't believe how she could let this happen.

After seeing the pain In her mothers eyes, Megan knew what she had to do. She took her mothers hands in her own and said

"what I'm about to tell you will break your heart, so I want you to know there is nothing you could have done. What our step father did to my sister, he has been doing to me for eight years. He has touched me, hit me, beat me, and tried to drown me. I don't know why he chose me, but I will do whatever it takes to make him go away. Mother, you and I will take on the world. And we will start with him"

What Megans mother didn't know, is Megan knew her step father raped their mother on a regular bases. It was terrible knowledge to know, but once Megan realized the truth it was too late.

There stepfather ended up serving 1 1/2 years for ruining 5 people's lives. If there is one thing Megan wants people to know, it is that, no matter how many years pass, she is still, and forever will be, damaged from those terrible eight years. And no amount of justice would ever be enough for the pain he caused.

* names changed for privacy of victim.