Left with a broken heart...

Just a stupid girl.

I was a freshman in high school, i was so overwhelmed with everything changing. I was in our school musical. I still didn't really find myself. But there was this guy and he was being so nice to me. I know he was just being nice and wanted to be a friend. But i was falling head over hills for this guy. All during the rest of the year we stayed friends. I didn't tell him my feelings. I was scared he was just gonna put me down and we would lose our friendship. but one night i finally told him, he said he was honored, but i just want to be friends. And also he was in love with a girl that had just moved away, so i knew i couldn't push it. One night at one of my guy friends birthday party. The guy i was completly in love with was there. I was just trying to play it cool, but i could feel something between us. That night we texted until we fell asleep. He told me that he liked me and that he has been starting to feel that way for a long time. That night, i couldn't stop smiling. My friends could tell that i was so happy. We started talking a lot more. Then one day he asked if i could come to his house so we could hang out. I got my first kiss that night. It was amazing. But for the rest of the year, he started to ignore me. In the summer, i tried talking to him, i texted him, but he never texted back.. My sophomore year started. He started talking to me again. I still had all my feelings for him. We kept on flirting and we hung out a couple more times. But there was one night that he snuck to my house and after that, he didn't talk to me. (We didn't do anything that bad.) I realized that he had used me, and i was furious, so i yelled at him and never looked back. I was heartbroken and there was a guy that has been chasing after me since 8th grade and i started to like him and we started dating. But the bad part was, the guy i was dating, was best friends with the guy that broke my heart. And he wanted us to at least not hate each other. So i made an effort and we started talking again. I wasn't really feeling it with who i was dating. We broke up. The guy i was still in love with, realized that he knew what he was missing. He was jealous when i was dating his best friend. I knew he had changed. He was a completly different person. He was starting to like me all over again, and i felt like the luckiest girl in the world. He was the sweetest guy ever. We texted everyday. He told me that he was planning on asking me out. I had an audition for One act play. It ran a little late, but when i got out, he was there waiting for me. He asked me out right then. It felt like i was in heaven and that i had found the right guy. We dated for 2 months and it was the most amazing 2 months ever. But i knew something was was wrong. He stopped texting me first and was barely texting me. He apparently was texting his ex girlfriend, also my ex best friend. I was heartbroken. I told him we needed to talk, and he said that he didn't know for sure if he loved me anymore.. and that he started tearing up when he was trying to figuring out his feelings. We broke up the next week. I couldn't stop crying. I was still in love with him. We broke up on a Wednesday, and on Friday, he was going over to his ex girlfriends house... I was stabbed in the in the heart with a sword. I told him to never talk to me again. Then exactly a week later, he's going out with the girl that moved away. I couldn't take it anymore. It's like he never even loved me... Still to this day, i am in love with him. But i have to hide my feelings... I'm just a stupid girl...