How Much Lo Hurts!

Carolynee

Well, how should I start this? I am 16 years old! I have lost the person who meant the world to me! here is my story!
My name is Carolyn... I am still In love with this guy, his name was James!
Well this is our story, the day I met him, I had like a week that I broke up with my boyfriend, ugh, he broke my hard badly, I was so tired of the same old story, that I thought prince charming was not going to appear in my life, never!
So I was all depressed, my friend Norma Calls me "Hey Lynee, let's go to this party, is at my boyfriend's cousin's house"
Me: "Ah I don't know, I am not in the mood"
Norma:"Come on, just come with me, I promise if you start feeling bad, I'll drive you back home!" Well, I agreed, & told her to come pick me up. Well, as I was getting ready, I was regretting saying yes, I was still hurt and was not in the mood to see guys!
But I couldn't say no in the last minute, so when Norma came to pick me up, I tried to look happy, well I was really happy to see her, when we got to the party, I saw my ex there, ugh, of course I felt so bad, I ran inside, the house was so pretty, i was looking for the bathroom, nobody was inside of course, then well, When i found the bathroom, I told my self "why do I even want to go to the bathroom?" i laughed at my self! then suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder as I walked down the hall, I turned around and there he was, the cutest guy I've ever seen, I started shaking, it was so weird, he smiled
James: "what are you doing inside? nobody is supposed to be inside"
Me"Ah, well, I just don't like parties so I just came inside" he laughed, and I am so sure I blushed
James: Do you want to go sit somewhere?"
Me: "Ah, sure" so I just followed him, and we got to his room, at first I thought he was going to try to have sex with me, but later I realized, he all wanted to do was talk, I got happy when I realized that
James:"So, how old are you?"
Me: "I am 14, about to be 15 in about a month, what about you?"
James: "I am 16, going on 17, in two months" we both giggled!
that night we talked about so many things, then we started to get each other better, I realized he was so much like the guys I've dreamed of, we talked for the whole month, it was so soon, but the day of my birthday he asked me out, I really said yes without a doubt! then we had the most amazing dates, we kissed in the rain, we hold hands the whole time, we drove around without a place to go, we had the best romance, until the day of my birthday, my 16 birthday, it was our first anniversary, it was of course amazing, we went bowling, then later during the night, we went to take a walk on the beach, it was just unforgettable, then when we got home, he left me at my door, he started to get a little pallid, and in a second, he was weak, laying on the floor fainted, I freaked out, then my parents came out and saw him there, we took him to the hospital, i felt like something in me was breaking down!
It was until the next morning that he woke up, I was at the waiting room, because we could not see him until he woke up! when I walked to the room he smiled! tears started to come uncontrollably, the only thing I could think about was how my life was going to be without him, Leukemia, what? he could not have leukemia, my everything was going to die in less than a month, his cancer was advance, there was nothing to do!
His last days, we just starred at each other, crying and holding hands, we kissed as much as we could, we were enjoying the days who were left! I remember, it was a Tuesday morning when his mom called me, "Lynee, Lynee, he is calling you, Lynee come, he can't breath" When her mom said that, I couldn't talk, I knew the day was here, the day I had to say goodbye to him, I ran to his house, ran up the stairs to his room, he was there, I hugged him, and he wrapped his arms around me, I could hear his last whisper "I love you" it was the last thing he said, suddenly I felt how his arms fell from my back, my tears started coming out, he left, he left, he was never coming back! the people from the hospital came to pick me up, and still I was there! Crying, remembering the first time I saw those beautiful black eyes, that beautiful big smile, the first time I heard that laugh that made me start to laugh automatically too, remembering his first and last I love you!!
I'll never find someone like him, I'll never forget him, he is always on my mind, every time I see a couple walking by, when I listen to a love song, when I pass by his house, every time I wake up, every breath I take is for him!