Why is love so hard?

Rebecca

He had promised never to break up with me. He had said he loved me more than anything. Both are lies. I loved him a lot. And still do in a way. But my heart is more dead than alive. Here's how he broke me:
He asked me out in the middle of 6th grade over the phone. I said yes. He told me he loved me, he cared about me, etc. etc. And I loved him too. But I had forgotten that many other girls in my grade liked him a lot. He would talk to all of them more than me, and being the shy girl, I never asked much of him. But it DID seem like he really did love me. He was sometimes even more emotional in that "lovey" kind of way than me. He was my first boyfriend, and he broke my heart 11 times.

Yes, I counted. The first time, he dumped me so he could be with his ex. The second time, he dumped me because he said he didn't deserve me.
The third, He went for his ex again. Most of the time, he didn't even have a reason for dumping me. But the most recent was on the 7th of July. Him and one of his friends (who was a girl) were video chatting. He texted me that night and said "I think I like her more than you." I cried. I ignored him for a while, because I felt like hating him was the right thing to do. But, not too long ago, he said he still loves me, even though he still liked the other girl more than me. I was sort of touched until me and one of my best friends started talking. Well, being the girl that I am, me and my friend started to gossip and such. She told me that the boy told her he had always liked her. When she told me, my heart felt like it was ripped out and put threw a shredder. He had liked 2 other people while he was dating me. I didn't think that was normal, even though he was my first boyfriend and I don't know how boys think. And yet, for some unknown, crazy, stupid reason, I still love him in a way. Even though he literally broke my heart countless times... </3 If only I knew how to get over him.