An Unhappy Never After

Valerie

I gave up so much of my life for someone who never deserved it. I started so young. I was in 8th grade when I first noticed you. I knew you were different from me, yet it didn't matter. You caught my eye and I couldn't ask for more. You soon began to notice me as well. We talked and talked until that one day where you grew the courage to ask me out. I had a grin that spread from each side of my cheeks. I remember being so happy and so naive. Three months later you were different. I used all my might to let you go in fear that I was holding you back. You left with what it seems no problem. Only later did I find out that you had cheated on me. Regret tore you apart and you found your way back to me. As dumb as I was in love, I took you back.

Our freshman year started and we were inseparable. We talked for hours on the phone and I knew everything there was about you. You had a past that could haunt a ghost. Your father was never there and your mother was too focused on what she was doing rather then you. You poured your emotions and I was too eager to listen. I fell in love for the first time and I decided the time was right. I never wanted anything more then I did you. I gave you everything... Something that I will never be able to take back.

Towards the end of our freshman year you changed. Something about you was now filled with hate and confusion. You had always been so easy to talk to and now you were harder to read then a shake spear novel. I questioned you and pestered you until I found the truth, you had taken up a new hobby, drugs. They had taken over your life and the person I loved. I let you go, not because I wanted, but because you needed to find yourself.

I watched you suffer for 6 months before you became clean. We didn't talk but once. You told me that you hated me and that you wanted nothing more to do with me.. I couldn't see anyone else and I never wanted to leave the house. I was different and everyone could see it in me. After months of watching you, you were sent to jail. Your perspective on life changed and you cleaned up and came back for me.

I had never loved anyone else so having you back in my life was a gift from God. I forgot all the treacherous things you once said to friends, family, and over the internet. You had me mesmerized all over again. We were again inseparable until that day..

I had lunch with a friend and you seemed to find me. I didn't mention that my friend was a he because I knew of your temper and hated to upset you. You broke up with me two days later claiming you couldn't trust me.. Two weeks later you were with an older girl. A beautiful popular senior.. I guess she gave you things I couldn't because you are now with her and its been 6 months. I am still waiting on the side, hurt.

No matter the pain you have put me through, I still say I love you each and every day of my life. Every time I see you with her, it kills me. Every time I see a picture of you two, I die a little more...