A Sickening Breakup

Nathan Vince Cruz

Weeks of planning sum up to this one moment where I am forced to break her heart. She invites me over her house because she insists that she cook for me, as a few days prior to that night it was I who cooked for her. I just entered her house and can smell the alluring array of pasta and veil, which she knows to be my favorite. Prior to this moment she insisted that I come have a seat and assures me she has not burned the veil as I love teasing her about overcooking. I know I cannot proceed any farther, and regretting not enjoying a memorable evening with the one I love the most, I deny further entrance and she questions why in her playful endearing voice. I look into her loving eyes knowing exactly what has to be done. “I can’t stay” I said dreading my next words to come.

She knows something is wrong, she knows me too well. She denies herself that it is anything serious, that I am probably just sick or have family problems, never the less she remains concerned. “Why?” she says in the most tolerable tone she can conjure. I pause, debating on if I can still turn this night around and me and her can still enjoy her pasta and veil and enjoy each others’ company for just one night longer. No, I tell myself, you cannot turn back now. As I pause it’s just long enough where she knows it is something very serious indeed and her excited eyes, disappeared with her happiness and innocence becoming nothing more than a memory.

I tell her we can’t be together, that my feelings for her diminished over time. She laughs convincing herself it is a bad joke. She pulls at my arm desperately to come enjoy dinner with her. I ground myself where I am and repeat myself. Tears fill her eyes and every tear shed is a piece of me that will never be recovered. She tries to kiss me and tells me “we can work this out please”, I keep a straight face and turn away. Her sorrow quickly turned to anger, as she slapped me on both sides of my face, tipping over any furniture in arms length in anger, labeling me with the worst profanities she could muster until at last I could take no more.

I turned around and walked out leaving her to tear apart her house just as I had torn apart her heart. Tears streaming down my face, I refuse to look back. I am afraid that I will turn back and confess my undying love for her. But I must press on, for even though my love is undying, my body only has only days to live. I dare not burden her with my death.