Fall From Grace
Keiichi Maebara
24 Sep, 2012 06:42 AM
Early in 2011, I felt as if my life was in a rut. I woke up, showered, went to school, came home, homework, and went to sleep. I never did anything different. Until Samantha came into my life.
She was everything I wanted in a girl. She was absolutely perfect. Whenever I saw her, my entire day lit up as she ran into my arms. She was my true first love, first kiss, my everything. It was amazing being with her. I cared for her with everything I had. I was in love with her. But then, when school was ending, and summer was young, I couldn't go to school and see her. She told me, she was getting lonely. I sent her a message. A very, very, sappy lovey-dovey message that I never really wanted to send. I was just caring about her so she wouldn't feel bad anymore. She felt suffocated from it. She began to have little fights with me until in June 2011, she blocked me from contact with her. Then, in October 2011, it was nearing her Halloween party for her birthday. She began talking to me again. She invited me to the party. I couldn't make it. After that, she stopped talking to me. I tried to bring up somethings, but she rarely replied or answered in few words.
April 2012, I found out, she was with someone else. She had replaced me. She was hugging, kissing, flirting around with someone else the whole time we weren't talking. I asked her about it, but she just got angry with me and blocked me from contact, again. But this time, she told me to move on and forget her. She told lies to people at her new school about me. She helped me realize how lonely I was. I realized there will always be someone better than me. This resulted in suicidal thoughts. She got word of that, and told me that that was stupid. I realized I could be DEAD and she wouldn't even care. I am so ashamed to say, I STILL LOVE HER. People have told me to move on, but there is no one else I want more. I am waiting for the closure of why she did this to me. Thank you, whoever is reading this, for knowing some of my story. I wish you are doing better than I am. Help me.
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Comments
Post a Comment25 Sep, 2012 12:02 PM
Stay strong I know its hard I've had a similar expierence in my lifetime as well. I know it hurts but you need to be strong.
26 Sep, 2012 07:52 AM
yeahh!! ...totally understand what you must have felt like... something similar happend to me and ironically around the same months of last year... i wasted a year on a chasing over a chick just to find out that she loves me but as a friend after all i done and been thourgh for her ... so then out of nowhere she tried fading me out of her life but never really could completely ...which extended my misery... long story short... i got trierd of that girl's treatment and decided to finish her unfinnish work...by fading her completely out of my life ... i mean got new friends new girls (because at the time she was kind of the kindda girl with few friends... and soon enough took over my group of friends at the time)... so now she tries to talk to me but i just reply vague and so now i guess she is the one chasing me... i suggest you do the same my friend i also thought i was madly in love with my special friend and that their were no other girl i could love as much as i did love her...but i have proven that to be false ..you can always find new people new girls ... and i just ask myself why did i take so long to figure this out .
26 Sep, 2012 05:46 PM
Same story of my.
29 Sep, 2012 06:57 AM
I wish I could help you there cos its sort of the opposite for me. But i will try to help... You seem like a really sweet guy so she's an idiot rejecting you and saying mean things. I guess now a days it's "cool" to bully someone who's do nice. Just ignore her, eventually you will go off her and hopefully fall in love with someone else. I hope that was some help to you x
05 Oct, 2012 03:49 AM
well she is not the only girl worth it.. i believe when we did not get something or someone there will be a better choice for us out there somewhere.. good girls are only for good guys... cheer up..
14 Oct, 2012 02:57 AM
Um well hmm she is a total dumb ass um thats pretty much all i can say i wouldnt want to say more cuz it would be messed up to her which i'm not gonna do =) but she just let a good person go away thats one thing we should never do even tho some of us do that without thinking about the other peoples feeling some people love to go around breaking hearts but when someone breaks thier heart they complain (whatever goes around come back) but they dont complain when they break other peoples heart but i hope you get better i really hope you find the right girl cuz she wasnt the right one :p best wishes for you! <3
14 Oct, 2012 02:57 AM
Um well hmm she is a total dumb ass um thats pretty much all i can say i wouldnt want to say more cuz it would be messed up to her which i'm not gonna do =) but she just let a good person go away thats one thing we should never do even tho some of us do that without thinking about the other peoples feeling some people love to go around breaking hearts but when someone breaks thier heart they complain (whatever goes around come back) but they dont complain when they break other peoples heart but i hope you get better i really hope you find the right girl cuz she wasnt the right one :p best wishes for you! <3
25 Oct, 2012 08:34 PM
Dear keiichi
I know how it feels to feel so alone and that
she was the only person in the world that loved
you. That isn't true. Think of your family and friends!
She has moved on, and so should you.
Find a girl that loves you for who you are.
But choose wisely, don't make the same mistakes
as I did! I tought this one guy loved me but he didn't.
He only used me. It took me 1 year or even longer
to get over him.
I loved only few. And now I'm scared to love.
I'm scared to make the same mistake again.
Find a hobby you like and that takes your
mind off things!
I wish you the best.
Love Angel
01 Nov, 2012 01:38 AM
I am so sorry. I know how that feels. suicidal thoughts i mean. It sucks. im sorry. But remeber everything will be ok in the end if things are not okay its not the end
16 Nov, 2012 08:51 PM
Move on! That is the best thing to do. Make yourself busy and make yourself successful than she ever thought you would be. Prove your worth! I swear! She'll regret everything. Don't loose hope, remember, if someone bids goodbye, someone will eventually says "hello" soon. Just wait! Look around but before that, make sure that you have completely moved on. Don't use other people to move on. Try to accept everything first and search for your own happiness. Stop thinking about how to end up your life. Remember, she's a crap! She will be happy knowing you messed up your life because of her. Think of it! Don't make her think that you're a loser! Stand up and be the best man that you could be!