Vote +7

Lucky me

casandra

03 Nov, 2012 08:00 PM

My Best friend has always been there for me, she has always accepted for who I am. Even when she had her first boyfriend she never stopped talking to me until she got her second one. I have always envied her she is beautiful long straight hair, slim, smart, confident see's the good in people. She has a good family who love her and spoil her. And even her friends as well. I never have, I am the completely opposite of her. I'm negative my family hates each other I am in my room doing homework and they are always yelling at each other.

My sister bullies me and used to hit me and always brought my self esteem down. I got to the point where I would cut myself and cry almost every nigh. I would try and talk to my mom but she never listens. I even told her I cut myself and she ignored me. My dad is working and when he gets home he just watches T.V. and ignores us or when I try talking to him he ends up yelling at me. To say I'm always stuck in my room. But back to the subject when she began dating her second boyfriend she started to change a lot. She used to be a bit tom boyish but she was still pretty. But she became more girly. She started to think she was all that and started to talk only about herself. Whenever I needed her she was either busy or with her boyfriend. During the summer before senior year we did not talk at all. I would invite her she would always say no or later, but the later never happened. When it came time to take pictures for our orchestra program I was being negative like always and she just went off on me it broke my heart.

After that she started to ignore me I would be with them and they would not talk to me. They only talked to me when they needed something and stupid me I will always do it cause I can't say no. And ever since I feel even lonlier. I feel like I'm suffocating with all this emotions that are bottling inside of me. I have no one to talk to. I am more friends with people who don't go to my school but we are not that close. Things with my family are getting worse. I feel so abandoned all I want to do is run away and never come back. She is so lucky she doesn't have to go through much, everyone likes her. She is so perfect she has a car and everything nice clothes good grades spoiled. While I have to walk and have the same clothes since freshmen year with a couple of additions but not much. I am struggling for my grades. Lucky me right?

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deandre says:
31 Jan, 2013 12:18 AM

I know how you feel and if you ever feel like your about to burstjust send me a email and release all the anger and depression I think Fha it is better to express emotional pain with other pains not physical so if you need to release just email me at lovetheliving100@mail.com.

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deandre says:
31 Jan, 2013 12:19 AM

I mean lovetheliving100@gmail.com

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Jelly says:
20 Apr, 2013 09:56 AM

:( I... don't know whether this will help, but please don't let all this break you. Your sister bullies you, right? Tell her you don't like it. Make some noise. If it doesnt work, then try getting some help from councellors or teachers at your school or what. Your parents might be too stressed up to talk to you nicely, that's why they kind of raise their voice, i guess. But whichever the case, they are still your parents, so of course, they still love you at the end of the day. Also, I don't mean to hurt you or anything, and I hope this doesn't hurt you because what I want to do is to make you feel better here. You gotta start thinking positive. Like. your friend has changed and started ignoring you, right? Then move on. Get friends worthy of your care and love. Get friends who will protect you and all that. But at the end of the day, it all boils down to you. If you don't start thinking posisitve, this world will forever remain dark and foreboding to you. I myself am quite a pessimist, so I know. Everything just sucks because i think of them to be. But if you start thinking positive, then things will change. Instead of thinking how you don't have this don't have that, please do start thinking of how you have eyes, ears, mouth, etc, and at least, a grumpy but complete family. You have food to eat. You just have some obstacles which are meant to make you stronger, thats all. So please don't be so upset, we live for a reson, and that reason, is to live. Live happily. Live your life out. I really hope this helps... because from your tone in this writing, I feel really bad for you, and I can't stand you feeling so bad. Just remember something, everyone is imperfect... you may feel unwanted and unloved and worthless, etc, but at the end of the day you are unique, you are you, and one day someone will help you from all of these. You have things that others don't have and will die for, so please do treasure it and live you life out, Happily. :)
All that said, I really hope that you will heed my advice, Yep, my english isn't all that good. :P But do I cry over it? Nope. I giggle sheepishly and tell myself to work harder next time. I may be super young, and this advice might be carppish, but I really want you to know, that people do care for you in this world. For example, me. ad the person on top who offered u your email in case you feel upset. So do you see? You are loved. :D So please be happy!!! And do reply this, to tell me how's your life! :D
Bye, and be happy!
Cheers and sweet love,
Jelly. >3

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