The day he went alone..

Kimberly

It was two years ago. He had asked me to go ride bikes with him, but I refused. I was mad at the time. I'm not anymore. Anyway, he decided to go by himself.....

He had gotten hit by a car. I ran to his side to see his bike handle bars had went through his chest. I pulled it out and tried to hold the wound closed. It didn't work well because I didn't have the necessary experience to stop the bleeding. I sat by his side holding his hand in mine. He kept mumbling about things I didn't understand. He gave a tight squeeze to my hand and whispered "I love you..." before the life left his eyes. I still remember that day...his blood on my clothes, the look in his eyes as he whispered to me, and the moment his eyes closed forever. I sat there cradling his body until the cops arrived moments to late. They had to pry me away from him. His blood was on my hands and clothes.

I still deal with the pain of knowing he's not here, the pain of standing at the bus stop alone knowing he won't saunter down the street and hug me, and the pain of seeing an empty desk in class that he probably would have sat in. I should have went with him....he shouldn't have gone alone....

To this day I blame myself. Knowing that It was my fault and the last thing we did was fight.

I remember the laughs we'd share. The sweet moments we had. He'd stroke my hair when I was sad, walk in the rain with me when no one else would, bring me flowers on random days of the week, and be my best friend when I was alone.

If I could go back in time I would have gone with him. I would have pushed him out of the way. I would have saved his life and gave mine instead. He was all I had and now he's gone. I write him letters and keep them in a box even though he will never be able to read them. Every time I walk down that street the scene plays in my head like it was just yesterday...
I just wish I could have one last hug...one last laugh...one last..memory.
I miss him and everything we shared..... I loved him...