I Lost My Heart To You

DarknessAngel

It was when I was 12, and I met a boy named Ethan. He was very shy,and wouldn't talk much. Suddenly, he began to talk to me a little. He would talk to me more and more,with each passing day. We traded phone numbers, and we grew closer and closer. One night, he and I kissed for the very first time. It felt like a lovers paradise.

3 years passed (This current year) and we were closer then ever. 6 months ago,he grew shy again,and eventually we talked less and less. 3 months ago,he called me suddenly and asked me to meet him at the park. His voice sounded very rusty,and also very pained and weak. I agreed,and 2 hours later,i was sitting on a cold bench in the park. It was creeping closer to midnight, and I grew very tired of waiting. I also grew very hurt, since he stood me up. I began to cry...and cry...and cry. I didn't stop for a while, until I cried myself to sleep on the bench. When I awoke, some people were crowded around me, their faces twisted in concern. I had to tell them all I had a home, and that I was alright. Many thought I was homeless. The crowd scattered, and I began to walk home. The same time that night,Ethan called me again. I screamed and cried and yelled at him, asking him so many questions. He told me to stop, but I couldn't. I told him everything that had happened, and he remained silent. Suddenly, after 4 minutes of complete silence, the phone went dead. I cried again...and cried...and stopped crying. I threw the phone to the wall, and it broke with a loud noise. I jumped off my bed, and dialed his parents on my mom's cellphone. No answer. For the next 8 hours, I did nothing but re dial his mom every 5 minutes. Every time was the same: No answer.

After 3 sleepless nights, his dad picked up. His voice was tired and he sounded very agonized. I asked him many questions, and I heard Ethan's voice in the background. Ethan took the phone from his dad,and spoke to me. I could barely understand him,since he sounded worse. He apologized for whispering and said "I can't manage anything but...unless I wish to lose my voice as well." I suddenly heard sobbing in the background,and thought it as his mom. "Rachel,Now is not a good time. Things are really bad, and I'd like to have a private conversation with my beloved family, before I end my voice forever." More sobs in the background, and I was really confused. I begged him for 5 more minutes, and he said fine. We caught up in each other lives, and we both cried and said sorry. We talked for at least 2 hours, and his voice sometimes would fade, and his mom would shriek. Before he hung up, he said "I'm sorry for avoiding you. I'm sorry for not attending the park. I'm sorry for hurting you and worrying you and upsetting you. I'm sorry for every wound and bad memory I have caused you, and that I never should have been so careless. Please forgive me now, so I can blissfully continue with my life, tear less." I missed some of his words,since he choked sometimes. Not in an emotional way, but in a air-choking way. I said I forgave him, but to never do those things again. He said he promised.

I spoke to him for 40 more minutes, and his voice wasn't even a whisper anymore...it was a silent mutter. When 40 minutes had passed,his dad said to hang up, but we spoke for 25 more minutes. By then, he didn't speak anymore, and for a while I thought he had hung up. What startled me in that moment was his mom began to cry louder, and so did his dad and some other people. Beeping sounds were heard, and the phone went completely dead. I waited for 8 days,praying Ethan would call me, but he never did. I tried contacting his family, until my mom told me to give up.

6 weeks later, his mom called me. "Rachel, I apologize for not returning your calls, but I was very busy with...certain preparations." She told me what I had missed, and that Ethan was healthy and fine, and would call me in a few days. I was very happy,and smiled. Meanwhile, I received no phone call. Finally, I returned to school, after a very long time. I saw Ethan, and he was pale. His hair was smooth, and he never smiled. Not even once. His body looked all bone, and he looked as if he was shaking. I wanted to say hi to him, but didn't. Since,it looked he could easily be broken by any sudden blow. He looked at me,and walked away.

Now, I go onto the event that happened only a month ago. I called his mom, and she picked up. Her voice was worried. I told her about what I've seen,and she broke down and cried. She explained everything, and I felt my heart be ripped from my chest and stabbed. "Rachel,Ethan has a very bad illness. He's had it for such a long time, that's why he was so shy from the beginning. He used to be so talkative, and joyful. He avoided you because the illness has gotten worse, and started to show in his appearance, and he would cry for you, but nobody let him near you. When he asked you to meet him in the park,that day he showed some approval, and the doctors let him call you. But,that same night, he grew worse and weaker, and had to cancel him going out. Except...he couldn't call once again, since he began to lose his voice. The day you and him talked for hours, was the day he died. The doctors suggested something that could restart his heart, but it meant him losing his memory, and not being able to talk ever again. I wanted my son back, so I agreed. And, now he's recovered enough to be in school...and now he's all zombie-like." I cried for so long, I passed out twice. And,now I have relocated to my aunt's house in Denver, when I used to live in Ontario. I couldn't stand being in the same school as him, to know he wouldn't talk again. To know he'd never love me again.

And, now I hear he has found his voice, and regained his memory somehow. For a week, he cried and looked for me,until everybody told him i had left. He is now in a relationship with my friend,Anna. And,to this very second...I remember those days as losing my heart.