Agony

Jessi Lassiter

Here is a true story about a heartbreak that I'm still getting over.

A little over a year ago, about September of 2011, I met a boy named Tony. He was extremely handsome, funny, and popular. I liked him, but he could be arrogant sometimes. A couple months later we became friends (not super close, though) and starting talking/texting. In the hallways, he would say ''hi'' to me, we'd sit at the same lunch table, and we joked with each other occasionally. In about May of 2012, Tony asked me to video chat with him. With me liking him, I obviously agreed. We flirted a lot, and learned more about each other; He even called me beautiful! Once we were done video chatting, I felt amazing. I couldn't believe he had called me beautiful.

But once we went back to school, things weren't so amazing. He was avoiding me at all costs, never looked my way, and didn't even say ''hi'' to me when we saw each other in the hallways. My chest always felt tight when he did these things, though I didn't know why. A couple weeks later, I was sitting at my usual lunch table, and one of mine and Tony's friends was looking at me with excitement in her eyes. ''Why are you looking at me like that?", I asked her. She replied, "Because, Tony was telling me how he liked you a lot and he said he was gonna ask you out today!" I didn't really believe her, since he's been avoiding me, so I continued eating my lunch. A few minutes later, Tony sat next to me. ''Maybe she was telling the truth.." I thought to myself. I could see Tony staring at me out of the corner of my eye, but I kept eating. The rest of the school day went by uneventful.

When I came home, I went on Facebook and checked who was online. I saw that Tony was online, but I wanted to give him some space so he wouldn't feel like I was smothering him. About 5 minutes later, his chat box popped up, saying ''hey''. I immediately got butterflies in my stomach. ''Hey!", I replied. He then sent "can I ask you something?" "Sure", I typed back. ''well I just wanted to say that I think we should just be friends because I don't like you like that..", was his message. I started getting the tight feeling in my chest again, but it was a lot worse. I quickly typed back "Okay, well I have to finish my homework, so I'll talk to you later! Bye (:" I logged off of Facebook and went upstairs to my room. I locked myself in there until dinner was ready. I felt so empty inside, and my chest was hurting so much, though I still didn't know why. My mom saw me and said ''What happened? You look so sad!" "Nothing's wrong", said back, almost sounding like a robot with the flatness of my voice. "There is something wrong. Why won't you tell me? You look like you're about to cry." My mom replied. I answered, "Nothing's wrong and what do you mean 'I look like I'm about to cry'?" "Your eyes are glossed over and they look so empty. I don't like seeing you like this. It's scaring me." she said back. "Trust me, I'm fine." I replied.

Once dinner was over, I went back to my room, still feeling empty. The tightening in my chest was still there and it felt like there was a huge weight on it. I then wondered if that was what a broken heart felt like. We haven't talked since that day. The pain (heartbreak) is the worst emotional pain that anyone could experience. He has left me in pure agony, and I still feel like this today. It's not as bad, but it still hurts. The song ''I Wish You Were Here'' by Avril Lavigne reminds me of him.
Thank you for reading my story.