almost..

youbelongwithme

I met this guy through my gay friend. I just asked what's his name and I didn't expect that my friend would give him my number to let him text me. I was so shocked when he text me that day, but my friend said that he's nice so I befriended him.
OK, to make the story short, we get along just fine, we became closer as the days go by, we chat almost everyday.
Then one day we went to the mall with our friends and suddenly I felt something different inside me when accidentally our eyes met, I'm definitely falling in love with him.
I can't fool myself so I made up my mind that night that I will tell him about my feelings soon. But just that next afternoon, he told me that he broke up with his girlfriend that day so I end up comforting him. After that he thanked me and that's when he said that he's saying everything to me because he considered me as his best friend. OUCH! But that's the reality, he just see me as a friend and nothing more. I didn't get a chance to tell him about my feelings.
Two years have passed and we're still close friends, comforting him whenever he's heartbroken and hiding my one-way love. One afternoon this march, he called me and asked me about my one girl friend, I was not in a good mood that day because of my upcoming exam result that's concerning my graduation. So I just said I don't want to talk about anyone but he insisted on asking. I get pissed off and said, "OK I'll just give you her number for you to shut up." But then he said, "Aw, no need. It seems someone's getting jealous.."
I got the biggest shock of my life. I didn't know that he know even a little about my feelings for him. But I don't want to give him a hint so I just said "who?" Then he changed the topic. That's what I love about him. Even though he knows something, he never get to embarrass me. i didn't say anything about this but I know that I'm quite obvious, so to get away from that issue, I helped him. My friend became his girlfriend after a month.
My other friends who know my REAL feelings always ask me why I did that. They often get angry with me because of my "katangahan".
Yes, I admit that I want him for myself. But not everytime, you should always think of yourself. For me, it's much better to think first of the consequences of your actions.
What If I confess my feelings for him and then after he avoids me? I still want him to be my bestfriend.
But then I saw them one day at the mall very sweet and I felt my heart crushed right that very moment. I realized that nothing has changed about my feelings so i started to avoid them as much as I can and they noticed it.
When we saw each other at our common friend's birthday just this May, I was told that he was not going so I went there. But there he was and he saw me so I can't escape anymore.
He asked me, "What happened? Why are you avoiding me?" Of course I denied and said that I was just busy for the upcoming board exam. Although not convinced, he wished me luck, i nodded and started to walking. Just like that and he doesn't even tried to stop me to ask me what's wrong. I was fighting my tears when I went home. I cried myself to sleep that night especially when I saw those pictures that they posted at FB in the party earlier.
That's when it struck me. It's the REALITY.
They're so happy with each other now and I should accept that FACT.
We haven't talked until now. That's the last time we talked. He tried to call me last month but I didn't answer. He texted me but I didn't text back. Maybe he got tired trying to reach me so he stopped.
I know time will come that we will be okay just like before but I don't know when.
I just wanna share my story to tell you guys never to attach yourself, never to assume and never to fall for your best friend because it's the worst thing you'll ever experience.

Thanks for reading this guys.