my life so far

clay lenderman

I was born the third of three children and the only boy. My mother had my sister when she was 18. My mother started leaving at night and staying out until morning according to my father and so they divorced when I was about 2 but they kept trying at it even after that until I was around 5. After they ended it for good we lived at my dads parents home for a while until he had secured him his own home in which we could live in. We lived with our mom while my dad figured out his living situation. While there she married a man named Kenneth. He was stern and sometimes would abuse my mother and myself and my sisters. My oldest sister got into a fight with him one night and moved out to my dads house after Kenneth slapped her across the face. My other sister soon followed her to my dads house. I loved my mom too much to leave.

My mother soon became addicted to prescription pain killers and Kenneth became meaner. As time passed she filled my head with lies about my dad telling me that he was going to take me away from her forever every time it was his weekend to take me to his house. Kenneth and my mother soon broke up and I started living with my moms parents for about two years there my papa replaced my dad as a father figure and I would play with him all the time at this time I was about ten. We would play all kinds of sports he was still in good shape at 65 and kept up with me. My mom and my grandparents tried to hide her addiction but I could tell something was wrong so one day I confronted her about it. I was twelve when I did this. She admitted to it and started breaking down crying.

She struggled with her addiction until she died. My grandfather was diagnosed with Alzheimer when I was thirteen and died six months after that. I saw my mom at the funeral but by this time I was living at my dads and was trying to forget the life I had at my moms house. I almost left the funeral without telling her I loved her. She confronted me about it when I was leaving the church and I reluctantly hugged her and told her I loved her. Three days after the funeral I got home from school and my dad sat us all down in the living room and told us that our mom shot herself at 10:30 that morning.

It's been two years and 7 months since that day I struggle with depression and anger problems but none knows because I put on a happy face and I try to make everyone happy around me because of this I cant talk to any of my friends about my problems. If you all would please comment on advice to give to me I would appreciate it.