The 'Happy' Girl

Samantha

People always ask me what's going on in my head. It's not necessarily a bad thing, they say it jokingly for the fact that I'm always smiling, and acting crazy. Some people actually dare to believe that smile.

But what's really going on in my head? You wouldn't understand.

It's empty. That girl on the outside that could make you burst out into a fit of laughter with one sentence is the one who is slowly tearing herself apart on the inside. If you were to read my mind it'd be filled with dark colors, lonely souls, and song lyrics. Yeah, I know, it's quiet in there with just some faint background music.

But it makes me content. Music is the only thing keeping me on this earth everyday. And with the help of God, I know I'll be able to overcome this hatred toward myself. I just wish some people wouldn't have realized that too late. And it's my goal to save people. I was put on this earth to help people through music. I know it, even if I were only able to save one person in my entire life span, I'd still be able to die content.

I'm a teenager, I'm not going to specify what my true age is, but even for the short amount of time I've been living, I've noticed some people who have abandoned their life over something someone said or did. And it kills me to know that if I were to go down the same road that they did, I wouldn't have been able to serve as a purpose for anything. I want to help people, no matter what it takes, but I wouldn't have been able to do that.

Think of everything you'll be missing? Love, marriage, children...music. And think about the fact that by living just a little longer could result in you changing the world? And if you think no one loves you, that's not true. Because there is always someone...even if you haven't met them yet.

Live life. Who cares what anyone thinks. Live your dreams, explore new places, and most of all, be who you are. Because there will always be someone who you can relate to. All you have to do is find them. And it might not be easy, but in the end,you'll be glad you waited. You have every right to live, no matter how tall or skinny you are, or even what gender. You will find you place in this world. I promise. And God forbid if I'm wrong, then you can be mad at me with everything you've got.

...Samantha