In loving memory of dad.

Melissa

When I was 14 weeks old, my mom left me. My dad took care of me and he's only one in my family that I've been so close to for so many years until I was 7 years old, he died in boat accident then my aunt decided to adopted me..

I was really depressed for 10 years. I was so heartbroken. I wanted to die so badly, I hurt/cut myself almost everyday. I was in big trouble everyday at school. I refuse to work too hard in school and I had bad grades. I wasn't myself at all because I was in deep depression. My family, friends, and staffs at school was very sick worried about me so they decided to sent me to mental hospital for few days.

I wasn't happy at all, I don't like my life today. I wanted to go back to my old life. I have so much people support me. I got frustrated and stressed all the time. I refused to take people's advice. I lost a lot of friends.. They got tired of me. They think I'm crazy. Nobody will ever understand me. I have a different life than anyone else. I see my friends with their parents everyday and happy which is what I'm not. I'm very jealous and heartbroken. I've struggled for many years to get through the difficult times. I've never been appreciated for what I am. I've had made so much mistakes in my life and people didn't like me for that.

I almost got myself killed but they stopped me from that. Until last year, I joined pageant and I've decided to tell the people about my dad and how I feel. After that, I've felt so much better! I'm finally letting it go. I know that my dad is always with me, in my heart. He'll always be watching over me no matter what. I've been improving at school. I told myself I know I'll be successful one day! Then recently, suddenly I'm depressed again, all started over like the old times. I'm working so hard for myself and I'll not let anyone to help me anymore because what I've done to them.

They don't deserve that. I'm not giving up my life, not yet! I still have a feeling that I'll be successful one day!!!! No matter what I've been through the difficult times, I'm not done.