Walking through a thin lane...

Ratnadeepa

It's really very difficult to move forward when you are not sure which path to take...Life sometimes plays with us like that. My story starts with a fine and cold morning of winter. I was then 11 and he was probably 15. I used to go for a walk in early morning, and he used to go to his coaching classes at that time. Every day we saw each other, he was very sad for that he had to wake up in the early morning to join the boring classes, I was very happy as I could roam here and there, enjoy the beauty of nature.
My school started from 10'o clock in the morning and his from the same time. Perhaps we were in the same school, he was in the boys' section and I was in girls'. We saw each other while going to school, in the school during tiffin hours, and while coming back to home in the evening. But we didn’t speak. On Sunday, I saw him playing crickets with his friends, I saw him doing stupid things, I laughed at him but not before him, I was always scared to express my feelings before him as because in the deep of my heart I knew that I love him and I love him the most. I felt shy if he came all of a sudden in front of me. He was very joyful, very active and full of life. On the other hand I was very calm, soft spoken, and coward.

It was 17th March, when our exams got finished, and I was very happy that I don’t have to read those boring books at least for one month. So, we had a party to celebrate, we went to CCD, had lots of fun with coffee, sandwiches, and cookies. We took snaps to capture every moment. While coming back to home, I was alone. I was going at a faster speed, and listening to some famous songs. Suddenly when I entered into a thin lane, he just jumped in front of me with his ever smiling face. I got scared, and about to shout when he put his hands over my mouth and whisper into my ears the most wanted three words for which I was eagerly waiting. I was shocked, I couldn’t move, he was not holding me, but my legs were not moving, I wanted to tell so many things but I remained silent. Then he kissed me on my forehead and I was crying. We were standing for a long time may be one hour or more than that, but we were silent and for the first time I saw him like that. Then he dropped me at my house.

At that night I could not sleep, I ate also very less, not exchanged any words to my parents. I was crying and crying all over the night for I was never thought of what happened that day. I didn’t know why he came and told me this, I didn’t know from when he started loving me, I didn’t know what was it that made him attracted towards me, I didn’t know when to meet him again. The night just passed away, and I felt asleep almost in the morning. When I woke up, I saw the most beautiful morning of my life, I saw a bunch of red roses kept at the side of my bed. I came outside and asked my mom who has sent this, and she replied that one little gal came and gave it to you. I had no idea what was happening. Then suddenly thought came into my mind that our school will be closed for one month and since I woke up late I missed the morning walk also. So, I was sad, just thinking where to go, how to see him at least for once.
All the morning I was just staring outside the window, I didn’t take a bath, I didn’t have my breakfast, and lunch also, I didn’t feel hungry at all. Then in the evening I decided to go outside, so I spoke to my mom that I am going to visit one of my friend’s house and I left. I took the same road, and then I just came down to that lane where I found my soul mate. I was waiting and waiting but nobody came. And then when it was too late, I decided to go back. I had no clue for what happened in last few hours. I came back with a broken heart. But again did the same thing next day and the next to next and for the whole week.

One month passed away, and our school started again, I had a hope that I could find him in the school. But he didn’t come. I never spoke about this to any of my friends. So I was hesitating to ask about him. But I couldn’t stop myself and I desperately went to the boys’ section and asked about him. But unfortunately I didn’t even know his name. So, I gave his description and asked about him. The teacher couldn’t understand first and but then slowly he understood, and I saw his face became dull. He said that the boy passed away on 18th March in a road accident. I asked “and what was the time?” He replied, in the evening near about 6 o’clock, he was going somewhere to meet someone as he told to his parents. Again I was speechless, I had so many things to say when he came in front of me, but I couldn’t but cried. I wanted to say loudly that “I love that boy”, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t cry also. I just came down, I heard that the teacher was calling me, but my mind was gone, and so was I. I came down to the street, walked alone and the reached to that lane. I sat down there, wept, time went by and I didn’t know when I lost my sense. I discovered myself in my room, my parents and one of my friends who took me from the road, were sitting around me with a surprise in their eyes. But I didn’t answer their question.

So many years has gone, and now, I am almost at the end of life. Nobody knows this; nobody has the answer for what made me senseless. He is still there in the deep of my heart, and every moment I feel his presence and we love each other. I have still with me that bunch of roses, the smell went off but I can smell it even stronger as the days passed by.