My Amnesia Girl

seeker

This was a true story of mine. It started when I was in first year college when I met my first love. It was our Intramural at school. We were both badminton players so that’s how we became close.. texting each other every day even after the Intramural we still talk. One night she was sad and texted me that she misses Jay. I asked her who he was he and told me that Jay was her boyfriend for 1 year. It was their first anniversary when unfortunately; he died with the car accident. And only her mother survived who was seated on the passenger’s seat. That night I wanted to hug and comfort her, instead, I made a joke and told her.. ”Don’t worry, he is just there looking at you..awoooooh..haha” trying to make a wolf sound. It’s good that she smiled on her reply.

Days passed until I haven’t noticed that I was slowly falling in love with her. A month after our Intramural..we have again a sports fest. Exclusively in our department but some of the events were cancelled because of the bad weather. So we went to one of her classmates’ boarding house. While waiting for the rain to stop..we started talking about ourselves..just the two of us on the bed lying. Everything was my first time…texting someone every day, to falling in love, and lying next to the one I love. Then I couldn't stop my feelings anymore. so I asked her… “Can I kiss you?”…Then without answering..she turned her face to me and kissed me..it wasn’t what I was expecting to happen..it was a long kiss..then everything was hot. With the few hours left before going home..we just kissed..and kissed…and kissed.

So after that night.. We kept texting... It was the happiest day of my freshman life. it was 3 days after when she said she loves me too..then we became us. I was a freshman that time and she was in third year college but the age does not matter to us. We were almost 6 months then when I learned about her weak heart. She was told by her doctor that she won’t live longer than a year…..and her last month supposedly was that time I met her on September during our Intramural. So she was very happy when I came into her life because for her, it felt like she lives because of me. I loved her so much.. every day I keep falling in love with her, and so does she.

We’ve been together for weeks, months, and a year. So I was then on my 2nd year in college and we’re both sad because she was then in her last year, 4th year and after that I wouldn’t see her every day in school so she keeps saying that I should behave at school and not to be with anyone else. I like that part of her. She let me feel that she never wanted to loose me, and so do I. And also..I became close with her family.

On my birthday.. month of November, she gave me a stuff toy, a cute dog. The next February 14, valentine’s..another stuff toy, a puppy. And I gave her a diary. Since then, every night she would write all about us, sadness and joys. So she graduated when I was at my 3rd year but our relationship keeps going strong. When I have no classes I used to visit her at their house. Sometimes we rent to computers in two different chat rooms with in a cubicle. And in Facebook we would chat and exchange sweet words. Then I told her “come and kiss me here”.. Then she comes out of the cubicle and goes in mine and kisses me. Then we were laughing. We used to go the internet café and rent one computer inside a chat room then we would kiss there.

But there were times when we argue things that I’m hurting her too much until there were this time that she can’t bear the pain anymore with her weak heart again…she fainted and was brought to the hospital. I’m glad she was fine and out the next day. Since then I was scared of hurting her and I’ve learned to manage my temper and tried to just understand her and just ignore her mistakes coz I really love her and I’m so worried about her. When I was on my 4th year…things got worst between us. Her heart gets weaker again with several pains on her head but she ignored it. And my feelings for her changed because of her changes too. Until I can’t live it anymore, it was June 2012, I decided to finish our relationship even though it hurts because we’ve been together for 2 years 9 months and lots of memories we’ve made. One day at school, her cousin gave me something that it was wrapped and says it’s from her. I opened it at home and saw it was the diary I gave her last year and all pages were filled with her writings.

I read it. The first page was an introduction to our long term relationship. The next pages was from the day I gave it to her until the day we broke up which was the last page. Every time I read from pages to pages my tears would just fall harder and I wasn’t able to read it all so skipped to last page. I have no idea why did she gave it back to me. Every day since we broke up, she keeps begging for another chance but I can’t love her anymore. Friday afternoon after school she texted me and asked if we could see each other but I was tired at school and I don’t wanted to talk with her so I refused. Then it was Sunday when her younger brother texted me about her sister and it really broke me inside. “My sister lost her memory yesterday after a headache and can only remember us her family and other neighbors and relatives. She was diagnosed having a tumor on her head and need to go under operation soon but it would be critical coz it’s either she could survive or just get worse. She was told by her doctor to meet her friends and visit her school hoping to gain back her memory. Maybe tomorrow she’ll go. I hope you could accompany her”. After reading his message, I couldn’t stop my tears from falling. It killed me inside. I’ve cried the whole day, and night. So Monday in school, I brought her diary. I can’t stand the truth that if I would go with her, she won’t recognize me so I just asked my classmate which was also her friend, to accompany her.

She was sitting at the waiting area and I can’t bear seeing her like that, with the innocent and tired eyes, looks like she’s been crying for hours and days. When we were in the Hallway, she just passed by in front of me and it hurts a lot that the one I had loved for years just looked at me like I was a stranger. My friends and classmates said I should be strong and help her because we were always together before but I said there’s nothing I could help her remember but our past. One of my classmates volunteered to drive her home on her motorcycle but I should come. So I went with them and on their house my classmate went home already, we were sitting beside each other and she asked me…”who are you again? Are you my friend too?” I couldn’t answer her because I’ve been forcing myself not to cry so I turned my back on her but she noticed I was starting to cry so she said “Hey I’m sorry. Please don’t cry. I really cannot remember you”. I really cannot talk so Instead of answering her questions, I gave her the Diary and she started reading the first 5 pages then she started crying and showed me her cell phone with my messages to her before and asked “So you are ‘Mine’ ?” I said yes. Coz before we used to call each other as ‘Mine’. She just cried and felt sorry for not remembering me. Days and weeks had passed but still there were no progress in getting her memory back so I’ve decided to visit her. That time I brought with me the two stuff toys she gave before and told her “They’ll be here until the time that you remember me”. There was a big smile with wondering on her face when she saw them. So I told her about each of the gifts. She hugged and kissed them and I was smiling at her. The next time I visited her, I stayed for the night slept beside her. It was past 2 in the morning and still I can’t sleep coz I was thinking that when she woke up she still don’t remember me.

Suddenly, she was talking on her sleep so I listened and I was shocked of what she said. “Mine I love you. Please don’t leave me! Mine, I love you so much”. Tears begun to fall from my eyes and I couldn’t believe what I just heard. The morning I told her what I had heard then she wandered if she was like every night on her sleep. Then I went home with my heart even broken that I live only on her dreams. Months passed but no progress still. I told her before that if she has questions just text me. One day she texted me that she see things on her memory. She was with someone on a public park but she cannot see clearly the face of the other. She told me things that she remembers then I told her the other person was me. And that moment was the first day of our date when we are still getting to know each other. The next morning before going home I went to the park and try to find the words I’ve written on the bench but unfortunately it was erased. How I wished I used a permanent marker before instead of a ballpen.

Now it’s been 8 months but she still doesn’t remember completely the moments we’ve shared and together with our friends. But I have moved on now and we’re good friends. I was told before that she would go thru operation to remove the tumor but until now she refused to coz she is afraid that she might not wake up after that. For now I’m thankful that she is still strong and alive.

Thank you for having the time to read my story.