Never Understood

Jun Bach

"I met her in February the year was 2012, when we first met, the feeling was like no other, we instantly clicked. Talking led to texting once in a while which led to texting each other all the time. Making jokes, laughing, she really did make me happy. One day I decided to tell her the secret, that I wasn't happy with my home life. That my parents neglected me, I felt scared and alone. When I told her she said, "I will always be here for you". I finally felt like I wasn't alone.

The months passed, great times, ups and downs but we made it work, but then in august, we began seeing each other less and less. The fights and arguments began to grow more intense. She would hint breaking up and taking breaks, so one September night I told her "maybe its best if we take a break" just a little break to get our heads on straight, we both agreed. Two weeks went by, this was the hardest, two weeks of my life, I had to call her back and tell her I needed her. So I called her and said "I need you. I can't take anymore sleepless nights" and that was when she told me "I'm going into the navy, I don't know if I can, I just don't want to make it hard and go into this with a relationship" this was the most heartbreaking news I've ever heard, she was the only one who ever understood me, that's when I remembered the words she once told me, "I'll always love you, no matter what. I'll never leave your side, I'll never leave you alone again"

I didn't want to lose what was so special to me. But I didn't ague, she told me that if she wasn't going into the navy she would've taken me back yesterday. 2 months passed and I asked her to prom, since her ship day was in June and prom was in august, she said yes, but told me we could only go as friends, this confused me. Two weeks later I asked her why we had to go as friends, she was keeping something in, I could tell. That's when she said "we have to go as friends because I'm seeing someone, and its to the point where we couldn't be more than friends" I instantly felt my heart drop, I couldn't believe it. She then asked me if I could accept it, and I told her yes, when in my mind I knew I couldn't, that night I found out this guy was her boyfriend, for almost a month, the one person I thought cared, lied to me, and I just want her to know that she is the reason I am writing this suicide note, here I am again, all alone"