My First Real Infatuation

JustMeSarah

It was December... A regular, cold morning in our school. I was only an 8th grader. I had just gotten over my last 'crush', who had ignored me and talked wrong about me behind my back. This year had been very tough for me- my best friend had stabbed me in the back, half of my other friends left me, and almost everyone else around me hated me or didn't want to talk to me. I went through a time when I just wasn't happy and I wanted to be alone. That time changed when I talked to a boy named Stephen.

Stephen was different to me, but I didn't know it yet. I had met him in the 6th grade, and he was amazing. Then, we slowly forgot about each other. I talked to him again in 8th grade (I sat behind him). He was also so charming and hilarious. He had the most beautiful hazel eyes, long, bushy eyelashes, pale, glowing skin, and soft, juicy, red lips. I had still been getting over my other crush at the time. Over winter break, I realized that I really liked Stephen. I took the initiative, barely knowing how to handle a crush, and asked him if he thought I was pretty over a little note. Little did I know this note would mean so much to me. On it, he simply wrote, "Yes, but not meaning anything." He handed it back to me and whispered "attractive" with a smile. Things had been going well. We had exchanged numbers and talked in person a lot. Then I realized that I should tell him I like him. So I told him. I asked him if he liked me, he said, "I told you I don't like anyone." I asked, "Not even a little?" He responded with, "Yeah, maybe a little" And I thought we were perfect together.

By this time, everyone had found out, and they all said we would make a very cute couple. Whenever I was down, I had him to talk to. He made me feel so good about myself. But, there were times when I had been very suffocating... I wouldn't know how to handle it, I became very insecure and I didn't know what to do. And finally, I asked him if he liked me one more time, and he nodded no. I cried for hours. I had never been in a relationship yet. I realized that I had gone too far this time. Despite this, he apologized to me. He said that he didn't like anyone because I wasn't his type, and that he doesn't want to get hurt. I told him he had to open his heart, even if it means getting hurt.

We continued to be friends. At 8th grade graduation, he said that I was a good friend, and I told him I'd miss him. We hugged. It was beautiful. Over the summer, I decided which high school I wanted to go to. It was not his. I always believed that if I kept trying that eventually, even if it took all of high school, we would be together. It was a gut feeling that I knew would happen.

For 6 months, I spent almost everyday thinking about him. Other guys at that high school treated me like dirt. They called me ugly, gossiped about me, and were just plain mean to me. I wanted to be with him again. Everything had made me so angry. I wasn't happy at that school. Somehow, I had finally managed to let my parents transfer me to his high school. It was too late. He already liked someone else. Still, we managed to stay friends. I tried to get over him- I tried liking other guys but I knew that I would keep trying and coming back to him. I prayed to God that we would be together. At this point I wanted to marry him. He had changed a considerable amount since middle school. But that didn't stop me. I knew he was the one for me. And one night, I even dreamed that all his friends had left him, and he said that I had become his best friend, we hugged like never before.

I'm still here. Trying. High school isn't over yet. It may sound pathetic to you, but when you know something is meant to be, you don't give up, they will come around, and you will be their rock.