Never letting go
Eva
16 Mar, 2013 12:10 PM
"Eva, this isn't how it ends." He whispered. Tears flowed freely from my eyes. I didn't care how ridiculous I looked, all I wanted was him. I grabbed his hands, holding them tightly...I never wanted to let go. I never wanted him to let go of me. "Y-You can't leave me! D-don't do this. I don't know what to do...I can't do this without you." I sobbed...my whole body shaked with my tears and pain. "I'm sorry." He just whispered. "Lin-Lincoln...No. Please. Don't."
"I'm sorry." He whispered again, and leaned in to kiss me on the forehead, "I love you, I love you more than anything in the world...And I always will."
I shook my head.
It wasn't enough. I needed him to stay by my side.I wasn't anything without him. "Why are you l-leaving me? I-is it something I did....?" I choked, my voice barely audible, "I can-I will change! J-just tell me what I did and-"
"No, Eva." He held my hands to stop them from shaking, "It wasn't you, It-"
"It wasn't you it's me? I've heard that before..."
He silenced me with his own tears. "Eva, I don't want to leave you, but I'm dangerous. You can't stay with me, you-you and I both know that.I'm a killer."
"Do you think I care?"
"But I do Eva," He whispered, smiling sadly, "I care about you, that's why-that's why I'm leaving."
"Does this really have to end this way?"
"I love you Eva."
"I-I can go with you, I can follow you where ever you go..." I stopped talking, because I no longer could. I was drowning in my own tears. "I love you." He said again. He hugged me tightly, so tightly...I could feel his pain, his wish fullness, his emptiness...I knew he didn't want to leave me. I cried on his shoulder while he cried in my hair. I don't even know who long we stayed like that...could've been seconds... minutes ...hours. I knew that someone had to let go...
And it was me.
...
It's been 8 years.
Evey second, my eyes cried for him, my soul ached for him, my empty arms reached out for him... I knew that crying...trying...and dying was no use. He wasn't coming back, no matter what I did. And of course he kept his promise. Every second...I could feel myself silently fading away...floating peacefully into space...I curled into a ball, knees pulled all the way to my chest. Somehow I knew...I knew that I would see him someday...I could bear this pain if it meant that he would come back...someday...I would see him alive...I would see his face one last time and die happily...Even if it meant waiting forever, I would always wait...I'd be forever waiting if I had to. A thin strip of paper fluttered out of my pocket when I stood up. Crouching down, I picked it up...the writing made me smile, sadly...something I haven't done in years.
I'LL NEVER LET YOU GO. I NEVER DID. I NEVER WILL.
-Lincoln.
I closed my eyes, and pressed the piece of paper closely to my chest. "You can't let me go. Not ever..." I knew he wouldn't.
Lincoln I love you, forever and always.
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