My lonely life
Christian
23 Mar, 2013 04:03 AM
I would always think to myself, is it all worth it? Is it even worth trying anymore? Sometimes I just feeling running away... Far off to the distance... Where I can be alone. Every night I cry myself to sleep. I wake up with sadness written on my eyes. I go to school, get bullied, then go back home. I never had friends. I never fitted in. People just knew me as the 'lonely kid' I was perfectly fine with that name, because it was the truth.
My mother died when I was born. My dad tried his best to raise me, but he just kept drinking and smoking, and gambling. Every time I go home, I see my father laying on the floor. I would always just run to my room crying. Why did God give me this life? Why do I need to suffer? I have no one by my side. I can't even trust my own father. I have no friends to laugh with, nor family that are alive. I know that staying in the last is bad, but no matter what.... I can't forgive God for what he gave me. Everyday when I walk to school, I see a little kid walking with his or her mother, it makes me want to cry every time. Nobody understands me. Nobody cares for me.
We all are meant to die at some point. Plus, who would care if I died? I often cut myself, even if other people think it's stupid. I can't be happy, so I chose to be sad and have pain. I once asked the guy that I liked that I liked him... But he just made fun of me, calling me a 'loser' and other things. I once had friends... But they all turned my back. I thought I could finally trust someone... But I was wrong. I decided to get a pet hamster. I treated it with all my heart. But it died after two days.
Just typing this makes me want to cry. I have no friends. I have no family. I have nobody to trust. Why doesn't anybody understand me? Why can't I just be normal, and have friends and a family. I never chose to have this life. I did nothing to deserve it! I just... Want to... Die... And leave this world for good. It's not like anyone would are if I died, everyone would just go on with their daily lives.
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Comments
Post a Comment05 Jul, 2013 08:45 PM
Christian. someone always cares, that someone just hasn't found you yet. stay strong. and realize that there are more people just like you. confused misunderstood. sad. Believe me GOD would never give you something that GOD didn't think you could handle. God only gives his biggest battles to the strongest soldiers. so chin up !!! and keep on keeping on. Life gets better. I promise.
08 Jul, 2013 02:33 AM
Hi Christian, I just read your story, and I'm really sorry for what you're going through and that you have to deal with all that. If you ever need to talk to someone who will listen, just email me. I want to help you.
09 Jul, 2013 11:12 AM
Really sad nobody should be sad
09 Jul, 2013 02:39 PM
Hello, Christian. I am very sorry to hear your story. But don't break down, hun. Well, to be honest, I wasn't that different from you. Every day at school I would just sit on the classroom corner and ponder about things, because nobody talked to me. They don't even care when I just sat there alone, as if there was nothing. So, please don't be sad. And remember, all clouds have a silver lining. Any bad things are supposed to bring some kind of moral value or even hide something joyful behind. Please don't kill yourself. It's worthless. I hope you'll have a better life someday. ;)
11 Jul, 2013 06:18 PM
I knw the situatn u faced the same i also faced nd nw i got upto colledge days.i knw the alone lyf my mom also died nd father used to go for busines works i was alone nd alone nd nw also alone
15 Jul, 2013 01:46 AM
play karate :)) believe me it will solve it ;) you'll gain amazing froends just like u try it u'll not lose anything if u just try ;)
19 Jul, 2013 04:58 AM
Truth is, you're not alone. This story touched me and I know this comment may mean nothing, but I want you to know that you're not alone, and you don't deserve to feel the way you do. I guarantee you're an amazing person, and I'm so sorry about your situation. Clearly you're a strong person, but believe me when I say things will get better. Even though it may never seem like it. God has a plan for everybody, and at some point in your life things will turn for the better. Please don't feel like you're worthless, or anything other than amazing, because honestly it takes alot of strength to go through something like this, and clearly you're still here, alive, for a reason. Suicide is never the answer. I hope you know that there are people in this world that don't even know you, but reading your story, care about you. I wish you nothing but the best, and hope things get better for you in the near future.
19 Jul, 2013 02:49 PM
Hi Christian , Till now i'm not different from you . i'm also alone at present . i don' t have father , he left me & my mom 25 years ago . i don't have any frnds in my college . my college frnds don't get any value of me . so , i would like to suggest you that don't be sad . don't finish your life . god bless u .
30 Nov, 2013 11:54 PM
I know how u feel.I have a mother and a father and a big funny but I always feel like I don't belong.I mostly cry every night.Nobody love me at all too.I once tried to cut myself but I couldn't why because I want to be there with my baby cousin and want to see him grow up to be a man.There always someone there with u it might be a little kid or a people how u feel.If u need someone to talk u can go and add me :Hailey Shine.
30 Nov, 2013 11:55 PM
A big funny family.
30 Nov, 2013 11:56 PM
Add me on Facebook
01 Dec, 2013 09:04 AM
Hey listen its okay.. everything will be fine.. I know its hard.. Its even painful but know that you are not alone.. I read this somewhere that if you are lonely just think that we are together lonely in that too.. And i get it you hate your god but don't lose faith on him after all he is the only person who is listening and actually knows what you are going through.. And i get it, losing someone.. It takes everything from your soul.. But hang on there just STAY STRONG one day you will be happy.. Its just a phase it'll pass..
25 Jan, 2014 04:14 AM
i will be ur friend.. i understand how u feel.. if u need some one to talk to .. email me at lshayli@yahoo.com
12 Apr, 2014 10:50 AM
Hi Christian! I know how you feel. Getting treated like s*** by my boss and coworkers and telling me in front how worthless I am. Being bullied everyday. Crying everyday at night, asking God why did I even existed. Trying your best to be strong yet people are so cruel that sometimes you wish that you were left alone or some truck would run to me so I can get out of this world. I have no friends, I cannot tell my family the secret I've been keeping for 8 years. My cousins ignores me and treated me like a disease. But you know what, I cannot stop you from blaming God because I know you are upset but believe me, he's the one who will gonna stand by your side. By now, maybe you'll not be able to read this or somebody would gonna comment about 'atheist' stuff (please respect other's comment, I don't want someone replying about being atheist or whatever) but please never stop believing. A person with an awful past usually ends up getting a bright future. God would not let you suffer like that, he always has a reason for everything. Just believe in him.
28 May, 2014 11:07 PM
Aww I totaly feel ur pain no joke. Remember someone somewhere cares about u and never give up especially on yourself. Prove to everyone that u are as special as god made you. Always have faith in yourself. If u need someone to talk to I'm here okay!? email or message me :)
23 Jul, 2014 07:00 PM
see friend they are so much of pain to everyone. life means about to fight it's just like a war. if you run back in a battle ground you will be killed but if you fight back you will survive. don't think that someone will come to your life because it's your life. if time comes you will meet your buddies. no.. you and them meet each other because it's the destiny. remember you had so much of painful experience that will gives you full happiness once you meet your soul mate. after your age is 70 or 80 you have lots of stuff to remember because one day you will be the inspiration to other lonely person. for that you are lonely now.. be like your self because it's your life..... Friend..... you are not lonely because you had your soul to share who you can believe completely
25 Jul, 2014 03:53 PM
I was once a bullied victim too when I was in high school, but instead of focusing to my weaknesses I focused on my strengths. I really study harder to prove to them that I am better than them . I graduated as top 3 in our batch, and accepted as a scholar in one of the bests Universities here. I am proud to say I am now a professional. Don't give them the rights to destroy you. You have dreams, and they don't have. Prove to them that you are far better than them.
21 Sep, 2014 04:31 AM
I'm here for u even though u don't know me and I don't know u .......
08 Oct, 2014 08:55 PM
Hey, I'm Jesse byda way.. but what I wanted to say is that I know how you feel.. I mean, i've been in your position.. I'm here for you.. don't worry, even though you dunno me, i'll be your anonymous friend;) lol but seriously, if you want to get hold of me.. jesse833@live.com..
17 Apr, 2016 04:40 AM
Just wanna help euu yaar!
I think m also just like euu
U can mail meeh kk
Take.care browie... <3
28 Apr, 2016 11:11 AM
I get where you're coming from, but I also think you're so much better than that.
You just have to hold your head up and look towards the future because even though you're in this situation now where you feel helpless, a person who genuinely cares about you will come along. Just keep hoping, and never lose that hope because it's what keeps you going.
31 May, 2016 02:31 PM
Yahhhhhh.....little same life m also havng.......so bad :'(
01 Feb, 2017 09:39 PM
You will get through this and I had the same problem but I got through it and you will to and if you need can email me I'm always here.
18 Apr, 2018 03:51 PM
Hey. I'm so sorry that you have to go through that. I believe that everybody has those low moments in their life. You are not alone. This is 2018 and I hope I'm not too late. I've been down some pretty rough roads to but you've got to keep on living. Life may take it's time to get better but trust me it will. I'm a witness of that myself. When you feel like cutting do what I do and draw on your arm, write lyrics, play instrument, watch anime, whatever makes u better. I'm what it's like being the weird loner at school but I also know why they make fun of you. You're something different that they haven't seen before. Don't trick yourself into believing that you are no good. Believe me, I have those feelings sometimes too. You are worth it. You are a legend. You are a legacy. Spread the word to people. Listen to BVB. They get me through my roughest days. I love u do and I know you can do it. Ik u can make it. I believe in you. Believe in yourself, have faith, and keep going. I'm with you. Me and you can do this together forever. Please stay strong. You are great, passionate, caring and STRONG!