Is It Real?

elijah

So I was dating this guy. I thought we were really in love. I guess it was because I guess I was out of his league and I knew anything I did he wouldn't breakup with me. So one day I found out he asked some other chick for a naked picture. I broke up with him of course but the same week I lost my best friend. My best friend that I was with since 6th grade. I don't have many friends that I'm close to. This girl was with me through everything she was like my sister. But after this guy broke my heart I was done with everything so my best friend slipped through my fingers and I could care less. But after a week I start to feel
lost.
alone.
empty.
I had nobody
Of corse I wasnt allowed to date so I couldnt talk to my mom.
I was alone keeping all these feelings inside. It just got worse and worse. It was all bottling up inside me. It got to the point where I was crying at school and everyday when I got home.

I gave up on everything
I started talking to this guy,but at this point i wasnt even trying to flirt or make an effort to get him. We ended up dating and all the sorrow I had was disappearing. I was happy. Then he told me he was in love with me. I didn't want to belive him. I knew I really loved him. But didnt want to admit it. I eventually told him and everythings been great.
I am so in love with this guy. Not only is he my boyfriend he's my best friend. I want him forever.

But..
Lately he's been fighting with his dad and not caring about anything. He doesn't want to play sports, he stays up all night, sleeps all day. The feelings never change but still I can't stand here and watch him give upon everything when I know he's so much more. Now he's wanting to join the military right when he gets out of high school. It might sound selfish but it's hard not being around him for an hour,how is it going to be if I can't see him for 6 months just for camp. I don't know what I'm going to do without him. I don't have any close friends, I need him and He just wants to leave. I'm helpless I can never win.