I Hope You Are Happy

F-F

I’m a 16th yo girl and fell in love with a 25th yo guy. He is from India and I’m from Indonesia. Here is my story.

We met on the biggest social network facebook. I got an advice from my friend to add him, so I did. That day was only 2 more days before my 15th birthday. He started conversation by sending me message on the chatbox.
“Hi”
“hello”
“how are you”
“um,,I'm fine,you?”
That was the first conversation between me and him. I thought it wouldn’t be longer. But I was wrong, he kept on sending me some casual messages at morning and night. We started to talk about hobby and our favorite things. To be honest, he was really polite to me (as many guys are always talks rude in social networks) and I liked him. But only “like” no more feelings.

Day by day passes, we become more closer. One night, we started talking about love and he said that he love me and he will always love me. I realized that I am also in love with him so I said that I loved him too. We have started out relationship from that day. You will never imagine how perfect he was. He not only loved me, he really cared about me, about my studies, my health (as he is a doctor). I was really happy with him. I never thought that I will love someone that I never seen. I really understood the meaning of love with him.

One night, I started to talk about marriage with him. He is a Hindu and I know that he will do an arranged marriage. I knew that he will never be mine in real but I just couldn't leave him. He said that he will do anything for me because he loves me a lot.
I was sad to be talking about that with him. The only thing I was afraid of is living without him. I really didn't know how to live without the only one that I love.

*March, 25th 2013*
Me : baby where are you? I miss you so much ..
Him : baby we need to talk.
Me : um, about what?
Him : since yesterday I had a fight with my parents. They wants me to get married very soon. But I refused. My mom fell sick and then she wants me to marry a girl that they have picked for me. I can’t believe they did this. My mom said that she will die if I don’t do this. I decided to fulfill my mom’s wish so I will marry that girl.
Me : when?
Him : she said on 12th April.
Me: (silence)
You know how it felt? It was like getting an accident, I felt broken, pain and hurt. If he marries that girl it means he will leave me forever. He even showed me the picture of the girl at that time. 12th April is only 1 day before my birthday. I don’t know what must I do. I just don’t know how to live without him. But truth is, I want him to be happy, I simply will be happy when he is happy. I know that he is getting older and he have to marry very soon. We had a webcam chat at that time, and I saw him crying, but I won’t cry because I wanted him to know that I am happy for him.

I might smiled, but inside I was dying. At that night I told him to accept the marriage because this is the best way for us (actually not for me). I wasn’t doing drama, but this is my real life. He was in a relationship with me for about 2 years. We started on my birthday date, and we ended on my birthday too.

About a week before his marriage, he has been really busy. He said that he had to prepare for his marriage, I tried to be calm and understand. One day before the marriage he didn’t send me any message as usual. I have been waiting whole day, waiting for his ‘good morning’ message, or maybe only a ‘hi’. I was looking at the monitor of my laptop, refreshed the page and hoped that he sent me a message.

At night, I was still on my seat, waiting for him (as I thought that day was my last day with him). I looked at his profile and his friends started sent him greetings for his marriage. I cried again and again. My heart now was in pieces.

*April 12th
I slept in front of my laptop. I again checked the message box. I didn’t get his message. I thought about sending him a message, maybe the last message of mine. Hi A.. Congratulation for your wedding, hope you found the best and last person to be your life partner forever. You know I am so happy today, because the person that I love has found his happiness’s way now. Hope today will be the greatest moment of your life. Hope you can build your own sweet family with your wife which will be longlasting and romantic. God bless you and your new family.

Best Regards,
F

I still love him and I don’t know how to forget him. Loving someone does not always mean to be the owner of the person, sometimes love needs sacrifices. I really pray for his happiness. Now is the time to let him go. Even my heart don’t want him to go.
*Baby, I really love you a lot. You just made my life wonderful. Thank you for everything. I will always love you.