My note, You decide what to do...
Carter Mullins
22 Jun, 2013 03:40 AM
Every one who reads this please give me your honest opinion. My name is Carter Douglas Mullins. And my whole life has been swaying to both sides. You may have read before a story I write called Mason and I. Well if you read it all you would know that for a lot of my life I have been a suicidal. It really sucks how all these people want to help sometimes because somewhat they are giving me even more reasons.
Yes I have loving parents, and other family and yes I take a pill called paxel to help me get happy. And yes I used to have a therapist. And now though it has become exceedingly harder to move on. I cant help to look back at my parents and my family to see what they have been through. So far I have lost my twin, a couple of family members that I never knew existed and nearest one my beloved grandpa. Now why you're probably reading this the note.
Mom and Dad I love you with all my heart but it has just become really too hard to deal with all of the people. All of the insanity I have to deal with I know this is going to be harder for you then it is for me but keep in mind even though I am going to hell, I'm free. Free from everything in the real world. But right now I am just unhappy hopefully when or if you read this I will be gone. And to my sis Linsey I know we talked a lot about this and man did it help but now at least I cant be annoying right? I love you with all my heart and I hope this doesn't make you go deeper than you already have. For no matter what happens you have family. And to my other sis Perrin the same and I hope that you don't feel like this was your fault at all because trust me there are far eviler things in my weird mind at this time. And to Brayden you were my younger brother and yet you were taller than me, good luck in hockey because you're great at it just remember never give up and never give in.
I love you all with all of my tiny little heart I will always and I will regret this but right now it feels like the best move on my part to get out of the way for bigger and better things.
Alright its time to decide should I stay or should I go.
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Comments
Post a Comment18 Nov, 2013 01:53 AM
If what you've written here is true, then why would you go? i do not quite understand. you have family members that you apreciate and obvuously care for. i just think you need some change in your life, you could try to get emmited to a mental health clinic? like on a public hospital? it sounds really weird but the kind of connection or bond u make with ppl in places like that are really special. another good thing is getting back to the roots. survival trips. camping. stuff like that can really make you feel more at ease. im not one to judge, i tried and failed at suicide myself, but i've tried many different things, and these 2 definately helped the most.
18 Nov, 2013 02:15 AM
Don't your worth it. You could have a great life friends and you have a family who loves you and I no this is late but if you are still here you can be ok don't!! U will make me cry... you can fight through this!!
28 Nov, 2013 11:04 AM
Why do you want to go? U have a beautitul family that loves u. Do you want to hurt them? Do you want 2 be responsible 4 the reason your family cry everyday? Dont do it pls. There is always a reason to live. Pray to God to help you. Dnt be alone. Always be around your friends. Have fun with friends. Talk to ur parents about it. Everything will be ok. Your family has been through alot, dont hurt them the more.
29 Nov, 2013 03:09 PM
I believe there's always ups and downs in life. In my opinion, right now if you're still here, you need a big tight hug from the ones you love. You just need that. Don't feel suffocated because you have to learn to live through it. It feels as though you're being strangled in your life but you shouldn't give up and leave this amazing world. Because if you do even think of that, I'm sure you'll come to regret it later and not have another chance. You have loving people around you, and if you were to be gone, how would they feel? Im sure it has been hard for you, but in life, you'll come to interact with more loving friends and you'll start to treasure them as they help you out in life. You might be at the lowest point of life right now but I hope that my opinion can at least give you strength and pull you up from the hole underneath. Please, never give up in yourself.
02 Dec, 2013 08:13 AM
you know what,, letting of ur family is a bad moves, half of ur life is always ur family, i know you missing something in ur life that ur family cannot figured it out, here the best way to know what it is. just know what makes you happy.find what you were looking for, search for it,, you given a life to makes you happy, try to search when you already search ur happiness, after that you will go again to ur family..
05 Dec, 2013 03:58 AM
dont go
20 Dec, 2013 04:35 AM
oh please don't do it, I know what i type here you might not you believe but seriously your worth it! and don't listen to the people who are mean to you, you are you and at least you are being you and not being fake like some people who think they need to be and remember somebody out there loves you
22 Dec, 2013 02:18 AM
Thank you all all of you have helped in somesort of way or another again thank you i needed to hear this
27 Jan, 2014 09:26 PM
I'm not going to tell you what you should do or that you are wrong. Everyone deals with things their own way and I am proud of you for being able to deal with things in your way. But I am disappointed in you at the same time. I have a shitty family and school and I stay for my brother and sister though they treat me like shit. I take more medicine than a 70 year old man and i am 16. People out there pull through every day with heavy burdens on their backs and they question why but they continue on. I have an evil in me far beyond depression. I am bipolar and what my family calls a psycho. But I will not let the evil beat me and neither should you.
07 Feb, 2014 03:08 AM
thank you all im reading this over again and I think about how far I have come without your help well yah know thanks
20 May, 2014 04:09 PM
Dear Carter,
please don't go I know what you are going through, it would make me very unhappy if u died I know that god wants u to live and I want u to. if u ever need to talk to someone I am here. I have a facebook u can add me and we can talk.
25 May, 2014 02:25 AM
Please don't do this. You are a wonderful person, God made you for a reason. You have a beautiful life ahead of you, don't commit suicide.
18 Jul, 2014 05:06 AM
If this story is true, I just wan't you to know it might seem tough now, but eventually you will heal, eventually no matter how hard it is to face it, you will accept that they are gone. You can't change that. You sound like a very nice person and every person on earth has potentional to make a world of difference. You might be the one who stops suicidal deaths completely. The world might be facing one of the hugest losses every if you go. Maybe if you live, Cancer won't exsist anymore. You could save millions of lives. Too many suicidal deaths are happening. It might be tough now, but it can't rain forever right?
05 Aug, 2014 05:21 AM
Dont do this to u i know how u feel but i feel way better now just stay strong hang in there its all right
17 Aug, 2014 12:00 AM
You're going to have a wonderful future. No temporary situation needs a permanent solution. You're something special that the world will be deprived if you leave.Talk to Jesus it helps.
28 Oct, 2014 12:53 AM
I've been through that I gets better even if it doesn't seem like it.
28 Nov, 2014 06:10 AM
DOOOONT, PEOPLE WHO COMMIT SCUICIDE GO DOWNSTAIRS, DONT EVEN, WHEN YOU DIE, MANY OTHERS DIE INSIDE
22 Jun, 2015 03:06 AM
I think you should stay! I think you should focus on the people that love you! Try to focus on doing things that are fun and do them WITH your family! U are here for a reason…but you don't know yet. I don't know why I'm here but it doesn't matter bc I know people love me, I'm here for a reason! Just like you!