I Remember

Diana Kotyuha

I remember the day I first met you. I remember the first word you said to me. I remember it all, but I bet you don’t remember. I remember the conversation we once had about doughnuts. I even remember the first time you said I love you. But I also remember how we fell apart.

We had been together almost 5 months. It was the first day of school but it was also the day my heart died. I woke up feeling happy making sure to send you a good morning text and to remind you how much I love and care for you. Getting on the bus to find a seat was ok. I got to the school slowly feeling the dread of last year’s demons coming back.

Me getting called fat and ugly while wishing and hoping for someone to hold me to help me fight my demons with me. Getting picked on by people because of false rumors. Oh how I longed for someone to love and to give love back to me. I closed my eyes trying to erase the memories but they stayed in my head like an annoying song. I somehow found my classroom to get my schedule. My locker got jammed no one could get it opened so my stuff had to stay in the office.

I got to see my friends again, but also learning who the real friends were and who the fake ones were. I sit there telling my friends how great and loving you are. Little did I know that at your school you were having lunch with another girl sitting on your lap feeding you food and kissing you. I wasn’t even thinking about you ever cheating on me. At my school during lunch I had to sit there getting food thrown at me by stupid jerks. When I heard the finally bell ring I ran out of the school I immediately start texting you. I tell you I love you but instead of an I love you too you texted me saying yea. I felt a pain but it went away when I thought maybe you had a rough day too and that you didn’t feel in the mood to talk. I called you but you ignored my call. Then I got a text from you. I started to smile but then I opened the text. My smile vanished.

As I kept on re-reading what you texted me not believing it. Tears that I tried holding back but I couldn’t as a rush of pain attacked my poor aching heart. As I read the words.

“I think its best if were just friends. I met someone new today and we did a few things I think it would just be best if we kept little contact as possible. I know how much you love me but as I was kissing the other girl my love for you left.”
I couldn’t take it anymore. The rejection, un-returned love, unfaithfulness, lies and heartbreak. I ran as fast as I could away from it all. I never stopped running. Till one day my heat couldn’t take it. I fell to the ground tears on my face a broken heart I was desperately trying to repair by myself. One thought on my mind ‘I forgive you.’ Now as I look down at everyone’s tear stained face. Their eyes full of different emotions. One pair of eyes stood out the most his. I watched as he walked up to my tombstone and read the words.

Diana Kotyuha
1997-2012
Died of a major heart problem, the most known problem. Only one question remains, why did you leave me?