My first Love

Nadiwa

It all began in October 2012. I had contact with this boy for one week when we decided to meet each other in person. I was so nervous, but it turned out to be just fine. We had seen each other 5 times in total, he always came to me. I never went to his house, because he said he had problems at home and wasn't that close with his family. In December we had two argument in two weeks. That was the end. I didn't hear from his for two days after our last argument, than he broke up with me in a text.

I had wanted things to be ended in person, instead of with a text! But he was cold and distant. I didn't see why he wouldn't give me another chance, because he also still loved me. Two days before Christmas, I found out he already had a new partner. That was one and a half week after he had broken up with me. I felt like an emotional wreck, I cried all day, with everything I did.

It took me 7 weeks to get to meet up with him. It was only one short hour, but I kept my cool. He promised to stay in contact with me, which was a lie. 5 days after our meeting he stopped responding to anything I had send him.

It was a long and painful recovery, getting over him. But I eventually got there, and couldn't be happier. He would sometimes come into my mind, but also go away again like nothing ever happened. And all I knew was that I wanted to punch him in the face if I ever saw him again.

5 month's later, this week, he had send me an e-mail. The first thing I did was scream ''Mom, David send me a mail!'' He said how ashamed he felt for treating me so badly back than, and wanted to get into contact with me again. He was fine, still with the bitch he left me for. Which made me angry.

I didn't want contact with him if he was still taken because I still had some little feelings for him, and it would be painful to hear him talk about her. He said he still had feelings for me and that real love never dies. Then why are you with her and not me?

I went against myself and we talked on Skype. We even cammed. I was nervous as hell, but after a while I got used to his face, and realized my feelings for him weren't that strong anymore.

During our talk he kept saying things like ''yeah, I really miss that about you'' and such. It seemed like he wasn't over me yet? Since he got a new relationship so fast. He asked me to visit him in his new house since he was all alone, but I said no. It didn't seem smart, because seeing him would hurt my heart and he kept questioning if I would want to cheat with him to get revenge. I'm not the type of person to do such things.

After our fun chat on Thursday evening I went to bed, feeling strange. The next day I found out he kicked my out of his contacts list on Skype. I asked him about it and he said he was too afraid his girlfriend would find out about it. As if I'm a threat?

Apparently I was. After I asked about him deleting me, he send me a very long text. It said that the contact we had was fun but that he wouldn't be able to control himself around me. (as if I would let him do anything to me) He loved his new partner and knew they were made for each other for sure now. He wished me all the luck and happiness in live and also for my family. He would delete me and all contact and that was his final farewell to me.

I was so angry, and didn't hold back my words. Was angry at him for rubbing it in my face, and screwing me over with just a text for the second time. I didn't wish him any happiness, just hoped he would one day suffer and get a terrible disease.

Now I just feel very angry towards him, for doing the same to me. He came back into my life at the moment when I was fully over him. Gave me false hope and messed me up again. This time I'll get over him faster, this is just the hardest part I'll have to survive.

So that was my first love, he's really gone now..