The Other Girl

Breanna Kathleen

I'm a 17 year old girl. Yes I know what you're thinking, you don't know what it's like to feel that way about someone, you're too young. I know I'm probably not the most experienced when it comes to this, I know I'm probably not the most mature, but here goes nothing.

It started in the last few weeks of term three at school. One of my male friends started to text me and talk to me all the time. We started to become closer and closer as the days went on. I opened up to him, I told him things I didn't usually tell other people willingly. I told him my problems and he tried to help me.
Over those couple of weeks, I didn't realise it, but I was beginning to fall for him. Weirdly enough, I've known this boy for two years now, and had a crush on him when we first met.

I remember the time he told me he started to like me. We were at school. I was sitting on a bench with my friends at lunch and he was standing about 50 meters away with his. We were texting, like usual, and suddenly he says "I kind of have a small crush on you..." I glance over at him with the most shocked expression and he just smiles over at me. I had butterflies in my stomach, my legs were shaking, I wasn't sure if it was my whole body breaking down or just a reaction to this boy liking me.

When the holidays hit we started to spend time with each other at our friends parties. My best friend was having her 18th, and coincidentally we were both there. We were drinking away, having a great time, then he says to me, drunk, "I'm in love with you." Now I know he didn't mean it. He was coming out of a bad relationship, if you want to call it that, with the girl he was in love with.
I just brushed this aside, thinking nothing of it and keeping the other girl in my mind.

I knew that as the days during that first week of holidays went by that we were just going to get closer and closer. We were texting non stop until around 1 am in the morning and would continue at 7 am the next day.
I have to admit, those first three weeks were some of the best of my life.

One weekend, he decides to throw a party at his house because his parents are away for the week. We had been talking more affectionately over the past few days before this, so I knew something was going to happen.
I still decided to go because all of my friends were going.

One thing leads to another at his place and we end up admitting that we have feelings for each other. We also end up hooking up and sleeping together that night.

It was probably one of the best times of my life because I had never felt so free and alive all at one time. I slept in his bed and he woke me up the next morning saying "you're beautiful." I will never forget this moment, it was and still is the best morning of my life.

A couple of days after that party I go over his house and we sleep with each other again. I was consenting to it, I don't regret it. It was good. It was nice to forget about things that hurt me for an hour or two. He told me all these nice things, like how great my body is and how I shouldn't be ashamed to hide it. He told me I was gorgeous and all of those other nice things.

But something happened. After that day, the texting stopped. It slowed down to a minimum "hey, bye" kind of conversation. I didn't know what to do.

Two days before my birthday we have an argument and he tells me he's still in love with the other girl. He tells me "I'm not the girl he thought I was" and that it "wasn't the right time." They were just excuses. I got upset, I admit I may have gone a little over the top. I admit I reacted a little too pathetically, and this lead to complete ignorance. He didn't text me at all. He didn't talk, or look at me. Nothing.

One day, he does contact me. By phone. I wake up to a very abusive phone call saying that I was talking about this other girl behind her back and spreading rumours about both of them. I was told that I was pathetic for doing so. (Let me tell you, I didn't do any of this.) My confusion got the best of me so I began asking why. Why are you angry? Why are you ignoring me? Why do you hate me all of a sudden? What did I do to you?...
Nothing. He refused to listen to me. He was too stubborn and egotistical to care. He was with the other girl while abusing me over phone and text, he was with her, she told him these rumours.

The next day at school he ignored me. When we were around friends he didn't acknowledge me at all. In class, nothing. Face to face, he refused to even look at me, as if I did something wrong. As if I were the bad guy.
He did this for two weeks until he finally texts me saying "I sometimes wish you took me away from her. So I didn't have to love anyone anymore."
Why did he say this? I thought to myself. Why is he doing this?

I cannot express how huge my confusion is. How huge my pain is toward him. He told people I was bad at sex. He told people I was annoying. He told people I was pathetic.
He used our past experiences against me to hurt me. He hurt me for her. He hurt me to make her happy. He ignores me to make her happy.
This is still a continuous issue. He still ignores me, only to talk to me about driving up the coast for a holiday with all our friends. He only talks to me when my friends are around. He never looks at me or speaks to me when she's around.

I'm hurt, I'm broken, I'm confused... And I still like him.