What have I done??

PaiRis

I have just recently had a tough time dealing with my relationship and having gone thru the internet searching for answers, I stumble upon this website. Having read some of the stories from those who have posted, I thought I should just share mine as well, just to get it off my chest if you know what I mean. Well here is what really happened just in details because I don't want to publish a book….

I met this pretty nice lady when I first came to work in this small town in 2008. She has all the qualities anyone could have dreamt of and I was happy to have met her. It was during that year that I asked her out and she agreed. Having learnt from some of my friends that she has just been thru a divorce, I wasn’t rushing her in to anything but taking things at a slower phase just to make her happy. Her name was Jen and she told me at first that she is not looking for a serious relationship and would prefer to be just friends with me. I had finally made her forget about her previous relationship and we both became more than just friends. By the end of the year, Jen and I were deeply in love that we spend most of our weekends together either at her place or mine.

What really made this relationship so special was the fact that when I am with Jen, I can tell her everything and she would listen and be there whenever I am feeling down. I did the same for her as well and things between the both of us were looking bright. We promised each other that we would get married someday when the time is right. Her family knew about the relationship and her mother wasn’t that happy with it even though she told her she loved me so much. Her dad was a nice bloke whom I grew to be fond of. He would give me a call or just called into my office to see me whenever he needed to talk. I gave all I have for this relationship because I really loved Jen so much I never thought anything would have gone wrong.

It was in 2010 when Jen had to leave our small town to go work in one of the big cities about 200 kilometers from where I work. We did sit down to discuss what it would mean to our relationship and how we would approach it. It was decided I would go and see her on my free weekends while she would do the same when it was her turn. It worked for us and the long distance thing wasn’t going to keep us apart. Most of the evening spent together were just so peaceful but the departing part was always the hardest thing. Sometimes, it made me feel I just needed to go look for a job in the city just to be with her, but I like my work here as well as the town. I am not a city type of bloke so I just kept to working here. If there were any bad news from her side of the family, I always travel down to be with her and, make sure she wasn’t all alone. I did everything for her even on her birthdays; I do visit her or pay a surprise visit. Jen had a daughter from her previous marriage but I love her and have always been nice to her daughter. Her daughter likes me a lot too and by doing so, I felt I needed to propose to Jen very soon. Having gone thru a tough time in 2011 with the deaths in her family, her grandfather and also one of my best friend, I decide to call the proposal off till the end of 2012. Having lost my dad this year (2013) on September and then my uncle in October, I was so upset and told Jen, I really wanted to be with her and can’t wait any longer. I planned to ask her for her hand in marriage this Christmas since she was going to take her leave from work. She came to me when she took her leave and later went to stay with her parents.

Well, just before Christmas, I had to travel to the city to do my banking as a needed some extra cash for the long break. I secretly made a booking for two at one of the beautiful resort for two weeks and then came back. While I was coming back, I somehow met up with a bloke who was travelling to where I live so we struck up a conversation along the way. What I never knew was that this bloke was visiting Jen’s parents. When we got off from the bus, he told me that Jen and his brother would be waiting for him. I felt something wasn’t right so I sent Jen a text message and you know what she told me? She said that this bloke has come to propose to her and her parents had agreed to see him. Woowww……I was lost for words that time and felt a knife running thru my heart. I called her phone but she did not answered so I texted her again. Jen told me she had agreed to marry this bloke and she is going away with him for the festive season. I asked her why she had to do it without letting me know but she never told me anything. All she said was that she likes this bloke and so does her parents.

During this Christmas 2013, I was left heartbroken that I never wanted to go out with my friends. I also had to cancel the bookings at the resort where I had booked in earlier and then told my mum that I wasn’t going to go home to her to spend the Christmas with my whole family. I never told my mum about what happened, but just gave an excuse about too much work to do. Even as I am writing this story, I am not feeling well as I am a bit confused and lost at what had just happened. Jen texted me two nights ago saying she was so sorry, but I told her I don’t need her apology or sympathy. I am still trying to understand what I did wrong or why was it that it had to happen to me. After all, I never let Jen down in any way at all during our 5 years together. Am really not in a good mood at the moment, and I am still waiting for an explanation from Jen.