Keep Breathing...

Thank you, Maria. I really appreciate your concern and comment. It is very sweet of you. :) I agree with you that the Christian community can in fact be hypocritical, but the weird thing is that as much as I hate my community, I love it still. I really wish I could manipulate my emotions to somehow stop loving her or women, but I guess it's just not that simple. Christianity is offensive unlike what most people think. It says that homosexuality is a sin, adultery is a sin, coveting is a sin, etc. It's not a peaceful religion because it is one of the most offensive religions out there that contradict every human sinful lifestyle. Everything we shouldn't be enjoying like lots of sex, drugs, alcohol, etc, the Bible forbids it (the overuse of alcohol, yes). And that's why even though I'm having a hard time, people like you whom I stuble across upon always pick me back up. Thank you for your comment because it made my hard day brighter.

Your story saddens me bt also inspires me because even though I'm not Homosexual I too am in love with a heartless and a cruel women bt I still love her anyway its been 5 years now loving her and She's had tonnes of boyfriends but all were the same old jerks that didn't even last for a month.I told her how I felt but a poorjack like I couldn't convince her and she kept quite and never talked to me about anything involving my love for her until an incident occur where I got putted to the Internet,headlines saying I tried to get the hottest girl in the school that was out of my league which got her laughing all the way and broke my heart very much but eventually picked myself up and went straight to her and said out of anger"You are a B***h and I hate you and wish I'de never lied and said that I loved you I hate hate hate you".And she said don't lie to yourself.And I don't know what she mean't by that but the word hate there means love.

Thank you imlipen jamir. I appreciate your simple comment a lot. The fact that you wrote just that already makes my day. :)

Thank you Natalie for your comment. You are right. There are many fish in the sea. There are many people in this world that I have yet to meet. Thank you for your kind words, and I will keep breathing no matter what.

Same, I met a girl who I completely and utterly fell in love with in my last year of Junior High. We got along pretty way. Just seeing her face everyday made my day. She already knew about my feelings way before I ever did. I confessed to her but she didn't give me an answer because she said she didn't want to hurt me. I told her to just reject me already and she did. We became friends once again. Both of us didn't bring the topic up ever again. I ended Junior High confused. Things just got more confusing over the summer though. I had her as a friend in Facebook so I would text her as much as I could without exceeding it. Except one day she asked me why it was that I didn't fall in love with someone else. I taught about it to that why out of everyone in the whole world that I've already met and that I still haven't met I had to fall in love with someone who can't love me back. "I just did my heart chose you out of everyone in the world... My past was dark and you were the light that saved me. People probably think my feelings for you aren't love but rather they think it's just a clinging emotion like the feelings a child to it's parents at an early age, but it's not because even if it was I've already fallen for you..." Is all what I told her. She changed the topic soon after that. I expected her to do that so I went along with it. The things she would constantly bring the topic up over and over agin every once in a while. One day I asked her two questions "If I asked you out once again would your answer stay the same? How would you feel if I fell in love with another girl and I stopped loving you." is what I asked her. "My response would stay the same because I like this guy and I don't like girls but I like you... As in more. The thought isn't pleasing... No I wouldn't feel happy if you fell in love with another girl... but I wouldn't keep you away from your happiness." Is how she responded, I told her that I don't plan on liking anyone else other than her. In the end I got more confused than intended. She acted like she felt the same but she would say that she doesn't feel the same way. She would try to get me to be jealous, to speak to her, to hug her... Everything she did contradicted what she said. She's the only one that I've been in love with this long in whole life, she's the only one I'm willing to be the idiot for just to chase her even if what I hoping for is impossible.
P.S In case you're wondering yes I am a girl (=???)?

@Kirito,

Your situation sounds very similar to mine. It's been almost a whole year now since I've first posted this story and I appreciate all the supportive comments so much. :) But within that year span, I've changed dramatically. It's not like I don't love her all of a sudden, but I've realized life is not worth living for someone who will never give herself or himself to you the way you gave yourself to them. So I am no in search of someone who will willingly love me with the same kind of intense love I would give to them... This sounds horrifying and scary in a sense, I know. I didn't want to believe the fact that she may not have been the one, the one I would marry and love forever, but we all need to move on. It's funny I'm saying this since I'm still not over her either, but if you want advice, that's the only thign I got. It hurts like hell for me to see so many people like you and me suffering for no good reason where there is no blame, but all I know is that we all ought to look for people who will love us for who we are. Out of all the people in the world, there must be someone is what I try to make myself believe.. :') Find bigger communities and try to see more of the world. It will enlighten you and ease your pain. Focus on things you love and not on her. I think you'll need to let her go, my friend.

P.S. I loved Sword Art Online <3 :)

I dont know what to say... u are gonna believe me or not but my story my sufferings are exactly same as yours and i really wanna talk to u in personal chat... i want to discuss.. i really need help ... i am really hopefull that u r gonna listen me once... i signed up here just to post a comment here ... i hope for a positive response... i just wanna talk to u discuss with u cause u r the only one whom i found just lyk me.. plzz do give me some response..

Dissentient .. how shall i contact u ?? ... through which source... i want to talk personally ...

Hey Terrence. Sorry for being absent for so long. Why don't you give me an email address I can contact you at if you're still around?

Wow. We have the same story. I am in love with her for 5 years now. We became friends but I made a distance between us. I didn't even go to school because we're classmates. It's just that I can't do it anymore. Pretending to be okay around her with our common friends.

We're in different school now since we're in senior high. It's a little bit sad and I miss her so much. But I know this is better. I'll be OK.

I was like that too. I know your pain. It’s good that you got over her. Good luck in life!