you killed me

crystal

when i first saw each other we hated each other we argued. until one day in class we were bored & i decided to have a bit of fun. i asked you if u wanted to play a game u said alright. we played and played until the period was over. i started to like you as a friend.he loved me as a friend. we hang out and talked. then i took you as a relative of my family. he took me as a relative. after a month of being with you i started liking you so much i didn't want to stop seeing you. one day i found out you liked me. i decided to tell you that i also had feelings for you. then started our relation-ship. after months of being together my feelings for him got stronger. his feelings also have grew. i told him that i loved him. he told me that he loved me. one day you stopped loving me and starting placing your eyes on another girl. that girl was my best friend called renee. i found out that he liked her. i started imagining that larry my ex-boyfriend liked her more than me. i began to think and then that night at 11:00 P.M i called him and asked him if he liked my best friend. his answer was yes. he said he was sorry i began to cry n i told him i will call him tomorrow n i hung-up. cried in the bathroom for 2 hours feeling the pain in my heart. the next day i saw him i wanted to yell that i hated him. but i couldn't i kept it inside. i began to have a strange erge to start hurting my-self. i started cutting my self. i had thoughts of suicide, and the music i heard was no longer happy but it was sad depressing. i once tried to poison my-self so i wouldn't live longer to suffer.i drank some clorox but I'm still alive i don't know why.but don't try this. i found out that i no longer had a beautiful life. i just knew that he was with her and not with me. i made them both get in a relation-ship because i no longer wanted to make him suffer about being with me and not with her. i know that he may not love me anymore but somewhere in my heart there will be a place for him it hurts not being with him but i have to know that im not good enough for him. i don't think i will ever be able to love again. and for those people who haven't felt what love is don't feel it unless you know who the right person is for you. i wish you luck.