Pain

amutha

I'm A, I'm the eldest in my family. i grow up happily wt lots of love and cares.what i wish all my parents will do it for me they wont even say no to me.
At the age of 18 i fall in love with R and the love last for only 4 years i start to get fed up on him cause all the time controlling me and i get to know that he is trying to separate me from my parents. I start my studies I'm out of my state my studies term was 2 1/2 years in that period i get stress a lot from him once i finished my studies on 31.12.2008 i decide to break off with him so it happens on 4.1.2009. I felt like a free bird no 1 can control me i can be happy with my family i can go anywhere i wish i can wear any type of costumes.

1 day i start to chat in a web i found there is a guy named Marshall[nick name]he wrote in his wall "who is willing to marry me" then i did a private chat to him i replied "why you are sending that kind of post in the wall its not nice for u" then he replied "if you are worried why cant you marry me?" i said OK fine with a playful mind i did it but it end up to marriage. i get registered and we are legally husband and wife. Parents decide to get us married on 23.2.2013.He lied to me he own a machinery company n i trust his words but later on i saw he is not serious in his job n finally get to know that his brother own the company once i get transfer to his place he take my car away from me. Ask money from me for fuel,spending and lots of thing my car is not mine anymore is only thing i m paying the car money monthly from my salary.If i wanna go anywhere i need to use a taxi and go.A big turn up happened on JANUARY,he was drunken i called him to go back home he don't like i did it so he came to the apartment that i m staying, he whacked me terribly he threw steel lazy chair on me i gt blue black on my knee i suffered a lot then i call my mom and told her what he did. they asked me to do a police report and i did my family and my uncles all came down to his house and they decide to stop my wedding. he find me and he cried a lot he said don't stop the wedding i love you so much, i felt melt from the words he said and my cousin sister interrupt in this problem she solve it and make them to continue the wedding preparation.

After get married i get to know he have contact with a girl named AISHU she is just 18 and my husb is 31 once i found out about it he use to fight to me cause my husbands brother used to tell me that he drop her in my car to the working place. then he stop contacting her 1 day i went to night shift suddenly i felt 1 kind so i went to my house i saw there was an INDONESIAN lady in my house. he hide her in the balcony and locked the door i went down and i saw she was there i came up again my husb gripe my neck and bring me to the balcony and show to me that there was no 1. He hide her in the second room i knew it he waked me and kicked me, on that day i get to knew that i was pregnant and it was aborted cause he waked me.i went to my working place i cried i felt that i better die than living this kind of life, my friends advices me make me strong, my superior came ask me to go back and take rest. I went back, before i sleep he slapped me cause i came to house at that time. things go on.

MAY 2013 i get to know that i m pregnant during my pregnancy he was so nice to me but i don't even know that he was acting to me that he loves me. He makes me close to my family once i delivered my baby girl on 13.2.2014 things turn up he start to fight with my mom he never allow me to go to my moms house cause he want his mom to take care of my baby, but his mother care for the baby only not me. My stitches was breakdown and wound start to smell cause of infection continuously 3 days he said he will send me and my bay to my moms house so my mom was waiting for him when he never do it and if my mother asked him he will shout to her and make her cry and let her go. I was keeping all the pain inside my heart and i only able to cry cry and cry so on the day 8 my dad came, the next day after the prayers we went to my hometown. he saw how the people there take care of me and he let me to stay there for only 1 month. After the naming ceremony he brought me back to his place where we used to stay,again he contact with a girl named ARCHANA she is married blessed with 3 kids he talks to her and loves her and in front of me he said he wants to marry her.

I felt like my heart is broken just imagine i give my care to him, i pay the house rent, i buy babies stuffs, i buy grocery things for the house all i did and he is not working, when he behave like this how pain i get how hurt it is and i still love him day by day problems are ahead and he start to change his behaviors he start to contact with his ex girlfriend. She is married but she have contact with my husb, when i asked him he will say that its not wrong cause we are not talking wrongly, right or wrong if you start to contact with your ex where u have been slept with her before its really WRONG u cant denied it. He stopped to do SI with me when i asked him why he will say he is not interested to do it with me. his dad bought a secondhand bus and asked him to drive he did it for the 1st month he give me some money or sometimes he will buy things for the house cause i dont have money that time and now i get salary this month i use to buy things for the house and pay rent babies stuff, grocery and pay bills.Now he is nice to me he is talking to me nicely keep on calling me i feel that i m having money that's why he use to behave like this to me.He is nice to other girls using all kind of lovely words but to the wife who sacrifice everything treating like a dog.He even told my own friend that he dont like to stay at home cause im at home. He never even trust me to take care of my own baby he wont allow me to take care of my baby all things i do i will feel scared and worried that will he say anything and he use to shout to me.Its just enough for me to get all kind of pain that i get from him. the only thing i can do is just be silent for what he is telling and shouting. he told my friend that he already divorced me and the baby is with me.Im getting pain a lot from him this is a first granddaughter for my parents all the time he wont allow my parents to carry my baby but if his parents and his sisters carry the baby he will smile and let them do it and that time i must just sit and watch what they are doing. Is it fair so many things are running out on my mind, finally i decide to apply for an divorce cause i need a break forever from him and i think if i go away from him hope he will regret and let him know how much pain he gave to me. if i go he wont have a car he need to go to his parents house cause he cant effort by himself to be alone.

I STILL LOVE HIM BUT ONCE WHEN HE SAID THERE IS NOTHING BETWEEN US i decide to not doing anything for him cause before this when he go to work i used to wake up and make a coffee for him but now i dont feel want to do all this things cause when i wants to do it the words from his mouth came across my mind. I've tried to sit with him and talked but its not worked out and now i just able to pour all my pains to the god n going thru my life till i go and meet the lawyer to file the DIVORCE. I NEED A PEACE FROM HIM I CANT STAND MY PAIN DAY BY DAY EVERY NIGHT KEEP ON CRYING. IF HE REGRETS HIS MISTAKES I WONT GO FOR IT BUT IF HE STILL DOING IT I WILL GO FOR WHAT I THINK.PAINS ARE STILL CONTINUING IN MYSELF...