Help Me

DavidThomas

recovered ? i ask my self i have recovered from the rejection of a girl that i loved for 6 years now. To be honest i do not know, sometimes i feel like i have, that i don't care about her anymore even though she is my best friend, sometimes i think to my self that its not going to hurt me anymore then i see her with another person. But then there are times where i break down, where i need her so much in my life i actually get scared of doing something bad like killing my self. i sit down and i cry. yes i know i shouldn't be saying it out loud because men don't cry, but for her i do, i sit down and just cry, time like that i ask my self have i really gotten over her.

asking myself this question over and over again, i came to realize that i have not, and no matter when where and how long it takes that i will not get over this girl cause she was my first love, and i loved her too deeply that i regret i did so. i would have done anything for her, i would have even jumped of a cliff she it meant i could see her smile. but no matter what i did no matter how nice i was to her the answer was and still is NO.

why ? am not fat or obese, i am shape i am not short i am 5 feet inches i don't have an Indian accent like most Indians, instead i speak like i was born here, i am form a good family, i look nice not a bad looking dude, then why can't she love me or at least realize how much i love her ? what the point in me loving her so much if am never going to be with her ? why god ? why ? i have asked these questions to my self so many times and i can't find an answer.

friends say that another girl will fix my heart, that once i have another girl in my life she will change everything. the answer to that is no, once a heart is broken it can never be fixed...well at least for me, am not saying i wouldn't love her but the damage that has been done to my heart will stay with me until i go to my grave, until i am 6 feet underground. i am tired, i am fed up, i don't know what to do, i have tried staying away from her but she never lets me go, she comes and cries and that makes me sad, cause i don't like anyone crying because of me, so i don't know what to do anymore, how do i get away from this ? one i have found is putting all this anger and sadness into gym and working out. but thats not enough, i need to find something else, some one else, am just tired and helpless, is there anyone out there to save me from this ? to help me through ? i don't know and to be honest i don't think so, everyone is selfish and they all have their own problems, but still all am doing is just asking for a hand to help me out of this, some one ? please help me, i am done with this pain and sadness :(