All alone...

kendra tinch

My name is Kendra Tinch, I have night terrors to the point where I am scared to sleep, I woke up by having one about my best friend...Charlie and I can't fall back to sleep so I wrote this about him. Why did god put his life in my hands...my weak, confused, and young hands. Ever since I was in Kindergarten I have always been a loner. I would never talk to anyone and I would always swing alone ever day.


My teachers and family members were worried about me saying I was abnormal and needed to make friends. I was all alone, until third grade when I met my best friend Charlie Tuggle. He was my only friend we would swing together everyday. I had the biggest crush on him and I wanted to tell him but I was too scared so instead of saying anything I just kept quiet and swang. The same two swings, kids used to make fun of me but Charlie would always say the same thing "You will always have me." I swear I can still hear that voice. Fifth grade he invited me to go four wheeler riding with him. I said no...I don't know why all I know is that I didn't want to.


Three days past by and Charlie didn't come to school, then I saw his mom and I asked her where Charlie was and she had this expression on her face. That look, I will never forget it, it's burnt into my mind. Then She started crying and hugged me at the time all I was thinking was "What is going on..." Then everything became clear as she told me that Charlie went out four wheeler riding alone and flipped in the creek. I was silent and couldn't breathe my whole world came crashing down.


"No one noticed until it was too late." Before she could go on I ran out of the room. For a month straight I refused to talk to anyone, anytime someone would mention Charlie I would get mad and have a panic attack. Three years later...now, I still can't stand to hear that name...I still have night mares and I still believe it was all my fault. Two days ago when I was running in cross country we ran past the Elementary school and past the playground and I remember seeing the two swings and I couldn't move and starting puking...I still haven't gotten over it and I don't think I ever will..maybe if I had gone with him I wouldn't be all alone now.