My first love...that never was

Anthony Rodriguez

The first memory I have of her is one of the best memories of my childhood. It was my first day of kindergarten and there she was. At first sight, it was like I had seen an angel with bright lights shining behind her. I instantly knew she was the girl for me.

I had her in my classes pretty much throughout elementary school. We were really good friends and it seemed like one day we would be together. I would always be the kid that helped her with classwork and stuff like that. She had that effect on me that made me wish I could just have the courage to tell her how I felt about her, but I never did and I regret it everyday.

Over the years we grew apart and everything chaned. Middle school came and there I became more social and so did she. We had our own groups that felt like miles apart. I started having those little relationships and seemingly forgot about those feelings. Until 8th grade graduation where I saw her beautiful smile walk across the stage and all of those emotions poured out like water out of a collapsed dam.

High school came and we interacted more. Our friends were all within the same groups that hung out. It felt like it old times where we were just kids hanging out again. One of my friends even said that she liked me before and it seemed like I would finally tell her. Four years went by and our lives moved apart again. She had a boyfriend so I had little flings with other girls, but everytime I felt that void that was left behind, those unsaid words. I never told her and I regret it every single day. Sometimes I look at the stars in the sky on beautiful nights and think about what could have been if I had just gained the courage to tell her. I will be off to college soon and I don't know the next time I will see her so I'm here today writing this.

I want everybody that is in a similar position to know that it may seem like a tough thing to do, but if I had another chance to tell her how i felt I would jump at the opportunity to do so. Even if she shares the same feelings or if she doesn't at least then I will have closure and I can move on

I will always have the stars at night to remind me that I should have told her, but you don't have to. Go after the stars before they fade into the sunrise.